Monday, May 19, 2008
I'm quitting my job
Yup, don't think I am kidding here. I have decided to quit my job. You see, today I was doing some important research on student loans for graduate school. I have been told that the type of loan I will be getting has a maximum allowance of $10,500 per semester. I ask myself, what would be the point of my working anymore? I'll be making bank as a student. In fact, I'll be signing the papers for my new Disney timeshare, trading in my Saturn for a brand new M3 BMW Convertible and I've been eyeing these extremely elegant diamond earrings that I think would look marvelous on me while I'm supping at the Captain's dinner on my 7 day, 6 night cruise through the Caribbean. I have no idea why I haven't thought of this before. No wonder so many people enjoy school! They aren't in it for the self improvement of education or increased knowledge on a particular subject, no indeed. They start and stay in school so they never have to return their loan money at a 6% interest rate. If I stay in school until I'm 65, would the federal government really garnish my wages from my social security check? I didn't think so either. It's really quite relieving to finally know the answer to the age old question of what I'm going to do when I grow up. I'm going to stick it to the man by hitting the books and writing papers for the next 38 years. That'll show him.
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5 comments:
Whoa....the 'man' never saw it coming! Just 38 years of school...I should have thought of that 30 years ago...I'd just about be done.
so are you really gonna quit?
Interesante. So, if both mom and I did the same thing, particularly since social insecurity is so much closer, could we do a double-mint stick to the man? You know the kind, double your pleasure, double your fun. With the excess, we could fund our Roth IRAs through dollar cost averaging techniques. I just ran the numbers and here's my calculations:
1. We would pay $9,500 less in income tax each year. Loans are not taxable.
2. We would have a stable, guaranteed income. What can be more stable and guaranteed than a monthly check backed by the government.
3. We could use the loans to fund graduate degrees in international travel management. I'm seeing numerous internships in exotic destinations funded by student loans. Annual travel savings, $13,000.
4. We could sell all of our properties, immediately realizing tax and insurance savings, to live in the dorms paid through student loans. Total annual savings, $18,000.
5. We would use campus transportation services. The free bus shuttles that take you everywhere for free. Annual savings, $7,500.
6. We could get a campus subsidized meal plan. Annual savings, $5,200.
Total Annual Savings: $43,200. I'm seeing the possibilities here. We could call this the "Earn while you Learn" investment strategy.
Earn while you Learn!!! I'm going to put that on a button and wear it everywhere. If I get two people and they get two people, I'll have an entire system created with some kickbacks and profit galore! I like the sound of this already. Add a class on Investment and dollar cost averaging techniques to the list of classes that I'll be taking (only 227 more after that ;)
Uh the realist/skeptic says to get the cash first, then quit when the unknown ammount becomes known.
I doubt you'd want to go back to your "old" employer begging on your hands and knees.
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