Total Annihilation!

There I was, having just returned home from work, standing next to the sink about to clean up the few remaining plates and prepare dinner. I looked down and saw a giant wing flap against the side of the drain. It was a wasp! Thankfully it was next to the drain and I suddenly began the ancient Chinese water torture, except it wasn't a slow agonizing trickle but rather an attempt to drown the creature by pummeling it with wave after wave of rushing water from the water sprayer. I can not tell you how long I continued to spray the disgusting creature with water, but I assure it seemed like a lifetime. Time after time it would begin to flap its wings and desperately attempt to crawl out from the drain area and seek freedom. I applauded its resilience while simultaneously cursing its indestructible qualities.

I realized after about 3 minutes of direct water that this thing was not going to die by water torture alone. I had to engage in plan B. I absolutely had to maintain direct water contact as I began to fear it would escape and become a raging creature of death out to destroy me. While holding the water sprayer with my right hand, I stretched as far over as possible to the left to grab the paper towel roll. I grabbed the paper towels and began unrolling sheet after sheet off the roll. I had gathered a sufficient enough ball of torture and stood there watching this wasp fight for its life and contemplated how to handle this final stage of execution. I had to time it perfectly because I wanted to stop the water and then kill it without too much lapse time, allowing it to escape. I quickly turned the water off with one hand while focusing all of my strength of pushing the paper towels against the sink drain and capturing the winged critter in a suffocating and dismembering death. Don't worry, I checked to make sure he was most definitely dead before I once again squished him between the deadly walls of paper towel.

I WAS VICTORIOUS!!!!!!

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Please see the latest from a favored blog of mine. This is positively hysterical!

http://danielle-everydaythoughts.blogspot.com/

Great Faith

The Mueller's set off for the United States in August 1877 aboard the Sardian…Off Newfoundland the weather turned cold and the ship's progress was seriously delayed by fog. The captain had been on the bridge for 24 hours when something happened which was to revolutionize his life; George Mueller appeared beside him.

"Captain, I have come to tell you I must be in Quebec by Saturday afternoon."
"It is impossible," said the captain.
"Very well, " said Mueller, "if your ship cannot take me, God will find some other way--I have never broken an engagement for 52 years. Let us go down into the chart-room and pray."
"Mr. Mueller," he said, "do you know how dense this fog is?"
"No, my eye is not on the density of the fog, but on the living God, who controls every circumstance of my life."

Mueller then knelt down and prayed simply. When he had finished the captain was about to pray, but Mueller put his hand on his shoulder, and told him not to.

"First, you do not believe He will' and second, I believe He has, and there is no need whatever for you to pray about it."
"Captain," he continued, I have known my Lord for 52 years, and there has never been a single day that I have failed to get an audience with the King. Get up, captain, and open the door, and you will find the fog is gone."

The captain walked across to the door and opened it. The fog had lifted. It was the captain himself, who later told the story of this incident, and who was subsequently described by a well known evangelist as "one of the most devoted men I ever knew."

It was prayer that swept his soul free of doubt, distemper, and the after-effects of a trial by the incoming tide of peace. For this reason he could make such remarks as this entry on March 9, 1847, "The greater the difficulties, the easier for faith." And a later one, "The greater the trial, the sweeter the victory."

-Excerpt from christianadoption.com

Forecast....

Tuesday Forecast: Make coffee before I lose electricity. Charge computer and portable dvd player. Locate and arrange peanut butter, bread, water, golden girls dvds and flashlights. I can't wait for a day off work!

Free Citizenship

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. - Fourteenth Amendment

Today I experienced my very first legitimate frustration with regards to the Constitution of the United States. I firmly believe that we should uphold our Constitution with the strictest of rulings. I feel it should be a closed document, one that should never be altered.... just not today!!

We have many international students living here that are starting families. Naturally, those children automatically become US citizens. This should not be! And on top of that, I was asked to write a letter that would allow two of those students to apply for Medicaid for their child. How dare their children automatically be bestowed with all the rights and privileges of United States citizenship. I felt the injustice of how hard I work to pay for my own medical insurance only to have internationals having children on US soil, and my hard-earned money going to pay for THEIR medical costs as well. I understand poverty, and with my compassionate heart, I feel a need to take care of those within our country, but I refuse to work hard for these people who pop out their babies in the US and suddenly feel they deserve everything.

I have decided that my new stance is that in order for a baby to be granted citizenship, it needs to be born to two US citizens. If this is not the case, then they can file for citizenship like everyone else. We have an appropriate due process for average people to be given the gift of citizenship. It's not impossible. If we don't become a bit more serious about who should and should not be citizens, the very weight of citizenship and what it means will become worthless.

Email Interpretation

He wrote this:
"Ok. Yesterday I changed my other tickets for 140 per ticket"
But really meant this:
"Ok, I guess that will have to do. Seeing as how you naturally appear the type to be so incapable that you are frequently taken advantage of, I would like to help you out by letting you know that the price I was able to achieve yesterday was at least half of what you got. You don't deserve the desk you sit at, title you carry, or air you breath. It's a wonder you're able to accomplish anything from the mundane to the meaningful. With your said incapable qualities, you have cost me my precious million-dollar time which translates into research. It would appear the university has not given me any other staff in which I can deal with, so you, along with your pathetic excuse of a airline ticket exchange, will have to suffice."

Incredible

What an amazing reminder for when I feel so inept with what to say.

"And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." Romans 8:26

Happy Birthday Christina!

I have such a wonderful sister, and I'm thankful for her! I just wanted to give a sweet tribute to her on her birthday. I celebrated this special occasion with thick sliced sourdough bread from Panera along with the house hazelnut blend of coffee, just like we use to during sister planning sessions at Panera. It needed to be cooler weather outside, but it was quite lovely all the same. I enjoyed those days together and miss them often. Just as soon as I am granted the super power of my choice, I will teleport myself to Wales to enjoy a slice of that birthday cake with you :) Love you Sis!

I'm on day 22, beware.....

I've recently started drinking Naked fruit juice every morning on my way to work in an effort to boost my immune system's fighting power and create a well-working force field against bacteria and sickness which surrounds us on a continual basis. I firmly believe that I feel better because of it. If you are unaware of the product, it has a pound of fruit in every bottle, and the vitamins and antioxidants are abounding. They always have quippy little sayings on the side of the bottle describing that particular flavor. They speak of faraway tropical places and breezy, summer days. I really need it to only say one thing for me to keep drinking it. "Naked fruit juice, so good for you that after 30 days, you'll have 100% confidence to drink it....Naked."

The quest for certainty

I was talking with a friend (nay a GREAT friend) of mine last night, and I was sharing with her that I just wish I knew for certain so many more things than I do. I wish I knew what the future held. I wish I knew how specific things are going to turn out ahead of time. She's such an encouraging friend; I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation we shared. After I got off the phone, the conversation led me to create a list of things I know with absolute certainty.

Updated list
1. God has a distinct plan for my life.
2. Waking up earlier makes for an unrushed morning.
3. My friends listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit ;)
4. Tea can, at times, be soul-satisfying.
5. Music makes the work day go by faster.
6. God hears me when I pray.
7. I always smile when I think about a particular person.
8. My mom is an incredible woman.
9. The sun will rise and set each day, time continues on.
10.All food sounds incredible when I'm hungry.

Civic Duty

Finally, and I do mean FINALLY after being an actively registered voter for 10 years, I finally have been called up, summoned if you will, to partake in my civic responsibility of jury duty. I am so excited! I know most people when they see that red-inked envelope sitting in their mailbox begin ticking through each and every possible excuse of why they couldn't be put on a jury, but not me. I marked the day on my calendar, happily asked off work, and began wondering just what kind of trial I might be placed on. Somehow I like having the responsibility of someone's fate in my hands. Now there's no need to panic, I would rather see ten guilty individuals roaming the streets than one innocent behind bars. I think I'm going to begin watching my favorite courtroom movies in preparation. I have also created a list of phrases that I just hope I get to shout out from the jury stand.

1. GUILTY!!!!!!
2. You can't handle the truth!
3. Try it again, that glove SO FITS!
4. I'm out of order? You're out of order!
5. Bailiff, take him away!!

Irony

One of my faculty walks around the corner to hand me a piece of paper, to which I respond with a chuckle, "You so had better not be bringing me any work. It's friday, the boss is out today, and I plan on enjoying this day as much as possible. I don't intend to do much work".

Here comes the irony: The elevator by my office is broken. It's only 12:30 and already I've had to take the stairs 3 times. I am not amused.