$76.03

With lots of discipline and determination, this was my electric bill this month. Hooray for saving money!

Incredible

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."
C.S.Lewis The Four Loves

No Coffee??

Conversation with coworker over how to handle this treacherous situation.

CW: That was the last of the coffee.
Me: We're out of coffee?
CW: We had better make sure to stop and get a cup on the way in tomorrow.
Me: What? You don't think she(boss) is going to bring in more coffee?
CW: I don't think so.
Me: What? Her go without coffee? Impossible!
CW: Well she will figure it out when she goes to make it next.
Me: You didn't get rid of the container?
CW: Ok throw it out, but don't close the trash can lid all the way.

(This is the point where even contemplating a clandestine throwing away of the coffee container so that I wouldn't go one morning at work with an empty cup should have been the low point of addiction.)

The coffee container was too big to fit through the lid on the trash can so I had to take the topper of the trash can off to place the giant blue maxwell house container inside. Yet, it wasn't visible. So I was halfway through pulling the coffee container back out through the trash can lid, so the lid would rest on the can and it would be visible to the world, when she walked in. My efforts dashed, I quickly pushed the container through the lid and acted as if I was valiantly throwing it away for good. I'll be stopping by Starbucks tomorrow.

Gain!

I smelled it when I was sitting next to this very good looking man.
I smelled it as it waffed across the fence from my neighbor's yard.
I smelled it while walking by the stores on my way to Panera.
It made me want to close my eyes and breathe deeply. It was the smell of laundry detergent. I have been trying a variety of different kinds to see if I can find the one that keeps making me smile. I finally did.
Life is good.

Starbucks and "The Man"

I loathe the consumeristic voice of corporate America that has been speaking loudly for the past say 50 years. I believe it is the source of unhappiness and ruination for many. It is because I love the very true essence of the American dream for all Americans, immigrants and those born here, that I would spend my days fighting this corporate voice of America. I dislike the vast ugliness of Walmart and the unhealthy infiltration of McDonalds as a beacon of American culture to the world as a whole. I believe starting your own business should always supersede working for someone else for 30 years and then hoping your retirement package, that you have been banking on, is still valid. I believe safety in career has trumped America's ability to handle failure and success in striking out on their own. And yes, while writing this I hear playing in my mind the song written by Merle Travis called "Sixteen Tons". The lyrics are legendary.

You load sixteen tons, what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store

Yet, what keeps me from moving to a plot of land, setting up a commune with other like-minded, hemp-wearing, granola hippies? Starbucks. I love Starbucks. I love the routine monotony that I hear when I walk in the store. I love how I have MY Starbucks that is distinctive and known to me as the inner circle of trust. If I have coffee with you at MY Starbucks, you are by far set apart from everyone else in my life. You are my life. It's not just my love of coffee; it's my love of Starbucks coffee. I love how everytime I order a Grande Caramel Macchiato it will always be made the exact same. It's safe. It's unchanging. It's soul-satisfying. Every morning on my way to work, I drive by Java Joe's. The owner himself is out there holding a sign promoting its drive thru window and luscious coffee drinks. Every morning I drive by it hoping to see hordes of people going there, waiting in line, giving their money to those brave enough to strike out on their own and claim for themselves their own American Dream. This morning I cheered them on while raising my quintessential white Starbucks paper cup with green lettering and 10% post consumer recycled paper sleeve in admiration for their stickin' it to the Man!

Another game? What?

I just had the pleasure of having my Grandparents stay over while they are in the area and then again while they are traveling through to TN.  I am humbled by the fact that at about 10pm when I was getting a little tired, they were still wide awake and ready to play another round of cards. Surprisingly enough, I was the only one who had coffee after dinner. Nuff said.

Old, yet new. I'll explain

I posted this recently on Myspace, but yet again the thoughts came up in a conversation I had at lunch with a wonderful friend of mine. I'm really posting it again here so I will be reminded of these truths when I log in to read and update my blog.

*WARNING*WARNING*WARNING

Disclaimer: Reading this blog is going to make you so light-hearted and carefree that you will want to be sipping a fruity drink out of a pineapple while sitting on the beach at Chankanaub!

I love thinking while I'm driving! Today had some good thoughts. I have been reading Max Lucado's book "Traveling Light". Yesterday I finally got to the chapter about the burden of worry. It gave the best illustration for what our focus should be. It was about a large ship and how if it takes on water each compartment starts to seal off holding the water in that one area and not letting it infiltrate the rest of the ship causing it to sink. The book applied that illustration to our lives regarding worry. Our focus should be on today alone. All of the past, the dead yesterdays, should be sealed off on one side and the future, the unborn tomorrows, should be sealed off on the other. I was pondering these very thoughts on my way to work this morning when it hit me. This is the day that the Lord has made. How different that verse would be if it had been written "These are the days". That would change the entire focus to be inclusive towards our past, present and future. Instead the verse is distinctly singular. THIS is the day that we should be living. The Lord will lead us to the next day and give us the strength to handle that one when it comes. Until then, it is but the step in front of me that is my only concern.

Cindy Cindy Cindy

When I make a mistake, I usually make them BIG! Here is an email I wrote to our gas company that our labs use at work. Hopefully he will find my mistake yet another endearing quality about me. Well, I can hope.....

"Here's a sweet story that I think we'll both be able to chuckle at....
So remember those MANY emails I wrote to you, demanding that you send me a list of account numbers because your new invoices failed to list who the gases were going to. I became demanding and pushy, and you no doubt weren't appreciative. Every time I would get a packet of invoices, I would inwardly be cursing (insert company name). Well, all of that stopped today. Here I have sitting in front of me an invoice that I was just about to curse because I had to yet again look it up to see who this invoice belonged to when I happened to glance at the bottom. There, written in clear type as plain as day was the ship to address. Well color me red and call me embarrassed ;)"

My own understanding, and lack thereof

I do believe the Lord was writing specifically to me when he wrote in Proverbs, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart. And do not lean on your own understanding." How I use to just recite that as a kid in school without really thinking about the words. Recently, I have been confused over a particular situation. I have asked friends what they thought, read books on the subject (each one having its own opinion and idea) and evaluated by comparison. Yet, I am still confused. I remember writing some thoughts down quite a few months ago when I faced the same type of uncertainty. I wrote, "Frankly, my own understanding is even what I would call logical reasoning. The Lord above transcends all of that! His wishes and desires make more sense than even the most rational of human thought. So I shouldn't be trusting people, I should be trusting the Lord! And if my trust is in the Lord to have my best interests at heart then my heart is always safe and secure." How true it was then and even more true today. The Lord has so many blessings in store for His children. Thankfully, they are blessings that surpass even my wildest thoughts and understanding of what would be best for me!

Pearls of Wisdom (yes, from a movie, what else?!)

Anne Shirley: Our friendship, it won't ever be the same now. Why can't he just be sensible instead of acting like a sentimental schoolboy?
Marilla: Because he loves you.
Anne Shirley: He loves me? I can't know why.
Marilla: Because you made Josie Pye and Ruby Gillis and all of those wishy-washy young ladies who watzed by him look like spineless nothings.
Anne Shirley: Marilla, he's hardly my idea of a romantic suitor.
Marilla: Anne, you have tricked something out of that imagination of yours that you call romance. Have you forgotten how he gave up Avonlea school for you so that you could stay here with me? He picked you up everyday in his carriage so that you could study your courses together. Don't toss it away for some ridiculous ideal that doesn't exist.

Worthwhile

Dear good looking, well dressed man who stood in line behind me at Starbucks this morning:
Your cologne made waiting in line positively pleasant!
Sincerely,
Fellow Starbucks Patron

BIG mistake!

Yea, I hadn't really gone anywhere with this blog, but then I managed to post a comment on another person's blog using this name. BRILLIANT CINDY! So here I am, forced to blog. I'm not a fan of that!