Assumptions

For all the people I work with throughout the day, please review the following list of assumptions. I assure you that you are responsible for one or all of them.

1. If I don't forward you order confirmations, you assume I haven't gotten them.
2. When I don't answer my phone, you assume I'm not in the office.
3. If I don't confirm receipt of your email, you assume I didn't receive it.
4. When I take a moment to compose myself so as not to say something I could be written up for, you assume I didn't hear you.
5. If I call to question an order you're placing, you assume I need a patronizing tone in order to work faster.
6. When you email me, you assume I need follow-up phone calls, emails and visits in order to process the paperwork.
7. If you give me work to do, you assume it's the only thing I have to do all day.
8. Whether or not I'm at my desk, you assume you can borrow my pens, pencils, stapler, paper, printer, phone, paper clips, stamps or calendar.
9. Because I smile politely when talking to you, you assume I'm a nice person.
10. And when I do forward you confirmations or processed work, you assume that that single-word email reply of "Thanks" is the only thing I need in order to make working here seem positively rewarding.

Consider yourself wrong, on all accounts.