Voicing My Thoughts for the Conversation

I'm a waiter...

2011-09-14T13:56:00.005-04:00

I don't mean I serve dinner at your favorite dine in establishment. I mean; I wait. When it comes to making big decisions, I wait until I feel it's the right time. When it comes to trying something new, I wait for others to do it first. When it comes to enjoying a truly delicious meal, I wait and first consider how many times around the block I'm going to have to walk to counteract it. And when it comes to elevator etiquette, I wait for everyone to leave first before I walk in. You'd think this was some ancient form of southern gentility with how few times I've actually seen it practiced. Students rush into the elevator so engrossed in their own thoughts and plans that they don't even see there are other people inside the elevator about to step out. My question, where were their mothers?
I know, only I could bring a post like this back to my mother. I remember, distinctly, the many times my mother held me back with sheer physical force at times when all I wanted to do was rush ahead, throw myself into the elevator shaft and push all the buttons I could find with my tiny little hands. There she was, with one hand on my shoulder and quiet whispered tone, "wait for everyone else to leave first". This morning I found myself clapping my hands together with frustration and snapping my fingers to get the attention of the student who catapulted herself inside the elevator while the poor student on crutches waited patiently for her to get inside before he left. I resorted to mumbling my etiquette lesson as I walked out, "you wait for everyone to get off BEFORE you walk inside the elevator. hello!". So where were their mothers? Is this a generational lack of politeness? Were their mothers in the 70s rushing ahead recklessly without first checking to see if someone was already on the elevator? Did they not have the patient hand of a mothering teacher on their shoulder telling them to "wait just a minute, then you can push the button".
What this taught me you ask? First comes patience and the reward inevitably follows.
It taught me to lift my head up, look around me, see if there is someone waiting to remove themselves from the elevator before I go charging ahead. It taught me to look before I leap and test the waters before I jump in. It taught me to have patience, think it through and then, when all signs point to clear, walk confidently inside and light up every single button within sight until I reach my desired destination. Ding!

It's time to "ber" happy!

2011-08-31T14:13:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow marks the beginning of my favorite time of year, the "ber" months. These are September, October, November, December. They start with Autumn, transition into Halloween, Thanksgiving and then Christmas. It's a time when I wish the city would just pump cinnamon smells into the air and people would smile warmly as if bonding over the idea that we're about to face a really long winter together. Speaking of long winter, these are the months where I envision cold snaps, frigid living conditions, seeing my breath when I breathe, and greeting everyone I know with a "goodness, this is the coldest winter we've ever had!"

I'm ready for homemade cookies, pumpkin spiced everything, cinnamon brooms and yes, the ever exciting red cup from Starbucks. I feel as if happiness is elevated, even if only for 4 months, to new levels simply because of the magical feel of the holidays in the air. I still have to go to work, pay bills and be responsible, but it's as if it's not so difficult because I start to see Christmas decorations go up around town in November and I start dreaming of all the things I wish I could knit. I love seeing how Starbucks, Target, and Publix will all decide to decorate, making even having to grocery shop feel part of the Christmas season. People start getting together at houses, sitting around a hopefully crackling fire with an increased desire to bring out the board games and have long conversations over mulled apple cider.

I know it's only four months, but they're the best four months of the entire year!

Am I stressed?

2011-08-23T09:45:00.004-04:00

So this last week I had to make an appointment with the dermatologist to discuss some skin issue I’m having on my face. He immediately tells me what it is, that it only happens with women and usually has to do with stress. Then he asked me, “Are you stressed?”. I fumble with my thoughts, completely shocked that this skin thing really is a “thing” that needs to get dealt with and that it has to do with stress, loosely translated I’m doing it to myself. He prescribes me some antibiotics. I think it’s nothing at all, until he tells me I might get lightheaded so go to bed right after taking it. I get the prescription filled at CVS and the pharmacist tells me to drink a full glass of water and sit up for an hour after taking it “cause it can give really bad acid reflux, practically burn a hole right through your throat. Drink lots of water, have a great day”. Um sir, please tell me you’re prone to dramatic overstatements.
How could I possibly be stressed, after all I’m not in charge of a Fortune 500 company or deal with the concerns of raising kids appropriately in this world or even have anyone else’s life dependent upon me. I have no real major responsibilities other than taking care of myself and getting to work on time. Although when I think back over the past 9 years of how many times people have come and gone in the house, I can’t help but chuckle a little and think I haven’t actually been alone very often. Four people, one house, roughly 67 “visits” that lasted anywhere from 2 days to a year. For a girl that craves routine, that’s a lot!
I work a job that I despise and still can’t believe I’ve been working here for 7 years of my life. I’m 30, 7 years is more than a fourth of my entire life. I have to stretch out projects that should take 15 minutes to last 5 hours just so I can look busy or I start worrying I won’t look busy enough and they’ll have a reason to get rid of me, expendable if you will. I have student loan debt that I’m paying off even though I have a Masters degree that I’m not currently using and the job market that seems darn near impenetrable. Come on old lady librarians, you have to start dying off or retiring soon. I’m begging you!
I miss my cat, Shakespeare. I mean really miss him. It’s pathetic and sad all at the same time. He was a great cat. I try to ignore it, move on, but every now and then something reminds me of how awesome it was to have him sitting next to me on the couch, not really bothering me just kind of sitting there keeping me company.
I’m in love! I get to see my wonderful man nearly every weekend, which also means I haven’t fully unpacked in over 9 months ;) I live out of my toiletry bag and have officially deemed Thursday my “laundry/pack/clean” day. But it’s so worth it! I love getting to see him and spend time with him. Although eventually I’m going to have to move, which means I start thinking about boxing up my stuff, moving out of the house I’ve always lived in and making another place feel like home. I ponder what it will be like living in a new city, being a wife and having the do the dishes every single day, even when I don’t feel like it.
I have on my “to do” list that I need to go grocery shopping before my folks get home, clean the house for girl’s night, try to make yogurt with my new yogurt maker, clean out the fridge of the suspicious looking foods that were in it when the folks left a couple weeks ago, remove the cat hair from the lamp shades and couch, try to get a walk in every night, cook something healthy and delicious for work lunches, fill out and fax the form to get transcripts in case I’m asked for another interview, look up what new jobs have posted, don’t forget to pick up cat food, take my antibiotics 2 hours after I eat or 1 hour before I eat, sit up for an hour so I don’t get the dreaded acid reflux but lay down right away after in case I get the dreaded lightheaded feeling, put out the water jugs, bring up the garbage can, buy hurricane provisions just in case, keep an eye on the storm’s track, call for a refill, write and send the email that I’ve been pondering for a few days, drink lots of water...

“Are you stressed?”, the doctor asked me. “No, not really, I don’t think so.”

If you have ever feared change....

2011-07-07T11:31:00.002-04:00

There was once a new tree in a garden full of taller, mature trees. This was the first year the little tree had received a nice covering of leaves, and it was quite comfortable with the leaves it had. So when fall came and its leaves started to turn yellow the little tree was scared! In its fear, it looked around at the other trees and saw that their leaves were also changing color, so it relaxed a little.
But then it lost a leaf! The little tree panicked and held on to the rest of its leaves tightly. IT looked around again at the other trees and saw that their leaves were falling off too!
Why were they letting their leaves get away? They won’t be protected from the wind any more, and what about the sun? How will they give shade without leaves? The little tree decided it was going to keep its leaves, even if they were now turning brown. The leaves were dead now, but the little tree held on, feeling safe hiding under the shelter of the leaves. Snow fell, and the leaves became heavy, but he still held on.
Soon the weather started to turn warmer and light rains replaced the snowfall. Ah, this was much better, he told himself. Then he noticed the other trees had little green buds on them, and some were starting to flower! He looked at himself and saw that he did not have any signs of change. Pretty soon the other trees had glorious leaves on them, and some had fruit hanging among their branches. Now he was jealous!
So he asked God, “Hey, why did you give the other trees new leaves and fruit, but you did not give me anything?”
God said, “My dear tree, I gave you the same sunshine, I gave you the same rain, and I gave you the same love as the other trees in the garden.”
The tree said, “But God, look at me! I am ugly! Why did they get new leaves, and I did not? It’s not fair!”
God replied, “Well, my child, you did not get new leaves because you did not let go of the dead ones. You see, the older trees have been through the seasons before. They know that when they let a dead leaf go, I will replace it with a new one when spring comes. Not only that, but I usually give them more than they had before! They sometimes struggle with letting go, just like you. That struggle does not go away when you grow.
You just have to know that there is a reason why you can’t keep your dead leaves. Don’t allow fear and pride to trick you into keeping the things of your past. Besides, you have to admit that it was difficult to hang on to them in the winter! It is easier to let go and let me worry about the new leaves. That is a lesson all new trees have to learn.”
The little tree said, “Are you saying that I can be just as beautiful as the other trees?”
God said, “You are already just as beautiful as they are to me. I do not love you any less because of your old leaves. I see what you can be, not what you look like now. But if you truly want to grow, be patient, let go of our leaves as they die, and I will do the rest. I love you”.

This was taken from Neil T. Anderson and Rich Miller's book, Freedom From Fear: Overcoming Worry & Anxiety

Laugh. Cry. Remeber.

2011-04-15T13:16:00.003-04:00

I saw it written once on the back of a car, a bumper sticker that said "Laugh. Cry. Remember". And so I do that now. This week has been quite an out-of-the-ordinary one for me. I do better with lists, as if you couldn't tell that already ;)

The Gyno:
Yea I'm not going to cover up the fact that I was nervous for the experience and horrified at the awkwardness. I know women who have had babies take the approach of "whatevs, it's been seen, they're doctors, no big deal". I do not have the luxury of this attitude. I wonder about what I should do before the visit, during the visit and so on. I worry about if I should talk to the Doctor or simply avoid eye contact. I prefer they not ask me questions or discuss the state of economy while messing with my nether regions. I prefer to ignore the fact that any of it is happening. I detach.

I laugh when I remember how long it took them to get my attention to ask me if I was "ok". Um no, lady, I'm not, thanks for bringing it to my attention.
I cry at the thought of maybe having to deal with abnormal results.
I remember how I ever so femininely tried to "scoot down" some more even though my booty was a bit stuck on the paper that covers the exam chair. Massive fail haha.

Shakespeare:
I came home on Sunday to find mi favorito kitty was limping. I worried something had happened to him while I was away. I worried every time he jumped up that he would hurt himself and even more when he would jump down. I dislike going to the vet office, but I dislike hearing bad news even more.

I laugh when I think about how cantankerous he is and how he just stares at me with a look of "I don't think so" when I try to get him to chase a toy.
I cry when I think about him maybe not being at the door waiting for me when I get home.
I remember how reassuring it is to have him sitting next to me on the couch with his little paw on my arm. He's seen me through some really great times and really tough times too. He's by far the coolest cat around!

Momma:
I get my Mom here for a couple days while she has a doctor's appointment and needed to get a few administrative life things accomplished as well. I loved getting a phone call from her today saying everything went well at the doctor's appointment and all the check points look good. I'm a lucky girl to have such an amazing Mom!

I laugh when I think about how much fun she is to kid with about patronizing tones or her beating me at Words with Friends.
I cry when I think about some of the tougher days of her chemo treatment and equally as much when I get the sweet, good news of excellent results :)
I remember how when I was a kid she would blow on my skinned knee to lessen the sting after putting Sante on the wound and how she would sing to me as I fell asleep if I didn't want to be alone for the night yet.

I haven't been a fan of this week, exactly, but I see the Lord's guidance and comfort at each step. I see the value of life and how precious sweet moments with loved ones really are. I have been able to learn once again what really matters, and surprisingly enough it isn't my cell phone, tv shows, lunch plans, current job, car or retirement plan. It's enjoying each day that we're given, despite their awkward moments, sad news or losing at Words with Friends. Life is so much more good than bad.

Subversive Window Washer

2011-04-08T12:42:00.001-04:00

September 29, 1967
Column by Erma Bombeck

A wonderful thing happened in our neighborhood last week.
Wanda the window washer moved.
Wanda wasn’t a bad sort. It’s just when you get a woman of her kind who washes windows every 10 days the neighborhood gets a bad name.
I remember the day she moved in. We were all poking our heads through the cracks on our doors (our windows distort bodies), when right off we saw her unpack this big stepladder.
“Don’t panic!” I told the group. “It’s probably a garage prop. Undoubtedly got it for a wedding present and doesn’t know what it’s for.”
Within minutes, she was shinnying up the rungs with a bucket in her hand and polishing the panes until we were nearly struck blind by the glare.
After that performance, homemade FOR SALE signs sprang up like crabgrass. We tried to reason with some of the homeowners, but they stood firm.
“We’re selling before property values decrease,” they insisted.
“Sure, now it’s only a window washer, but tomorrow it’ll be a grass trimmer, a porch scrubber, a garbage can cleaner or even some nut who waxes the driveway.”
Those of us who stood firm got it from all directions, especially our husbands.
“Hey,” said my husband one evening, “is that woman across the street washing her windows again?”
“What windows?” I said, trying to divert his attention.
“You told me our windows weren’t washable, that you had to send them out to be cleaned.”
“Our windows aren’t that dirty or I’d wash them.”
“Aren’t that dirty?” he shouted. “We’re the only house in the block growing mushrooms for houseplants!”
“Can’t you see what Wanda the window washer really is?” I asked. “She’s a subversive. She was sent to this good upper-middle-class neighborhood of slobs to cause unrest, discontent and hostility. In time, she’ll cause us to fight with our husbands, argue with our neighbors. The next thing you know, we’ll divide politically and the country will be taken over by Communists.”
The new neighbor moved in yesterday.
“How do you feel about washing windows?” we asked cautiously.
“The same way I feel about biting fingernails,” she said. “It’s a filthy habit. Besides, it’s un-American.”
Now, there’s the kind of woman you’d like your son to marry.

Campus Survey Conversation

2011-04-07T13:53:00.002-04:00

Them: Ma'am? Would you mind taking a survey on the tobacco practices on and around campus?
Me: What?
Them: Would you mind taking a survey. It's about tobacco use and practices.
Me: Oh um (why did I have to stop and get a newspaper? Never let them see you slow down, let alone stop!!) sure.
Them: Great. What would you say is your age?
Me: I'd say it's 20, but my birth certificate says otherwise ;)
Them: So you'd rather not say. Check. What would you say is your sexual preference?
Me: This is a survey on tobacco isn't it?
Them: So you'd rather not say. Check. Do you believe the faculty would like this to be a non-smoking campus?
Me: (Staring at the Orlando Sentinel newspaper dispenser) Didn't newspapers use to be free?
Them: Do you believe the faculty would like this to be a non-smoking campus?
Me: Seriously, didn't newspapers use to be free on campus? You just had to swipe your id card.
Them: No answer. Ok, what about Administration? Do you believe they would like this to be a non-smoking campus?
Me: I just don't see the place where I'm suppose to swipe my card. It use to be there.
Them: You do realize this is the 21st century, right? No one reads the newspaper anymore.
Me: Exactly why it should be FREE!

Ahhhh Amore...

2011-02-04T12:31:00.005-05:00

So it's been FOREVER since I've blogged anything. I don't really think I have too many readers so I'm going to be all girly and post something that's been going on in my life recently and what I've learned from it. Let the list making begin!

1. It's fun being liked for even the silly things like how much I love list making :)
2. The more I grow in love; the more I find myself needing to trust the Lord with my future.
3. My favorite things are dunkin donut runs and holding hands.
4. Asking questions, hours of conversation, innocent sweetness....cherish it!
5. Being honest with sharing emotions and thoughts, not as easy as I once thought.
6. Too much smiling and laughing can really make the cheek muscles hurt haha
7. I'm a mixture of wanting to plan the future and enjoy the present to the fullest.
8. The Lord blesses us far beyond what we deserve or could ever imagine.
9. Learning to think about someone else more than myself takes great maturity and definitely worth it!
10. It can be scary, really scary, but oh so wonderful.

Airplane Mode

2010-10-01T12:12:00.004-04:00

Fun conversation with an Airline Attendant while recently flying:

AA: (cheesy smile) You're going to make sure to turn that off, right?
Me: Oh, actually it's in Airplane Mode.
AA: (beginning with Airline protocol curtness) Please go ahead and turn it off.
Me: But it's an iPhone; it's in airplane mode. That means it won't be harmf....
AA: (interrupted) Please turn it off. We ask all passengers to turn off their cell phones during take off and landing.
Me: (giving a perlexed and slightly annoyed expression) Do you understand what Airplane Mode means? hehe I'm just kidding. I didn't actually say that. I just sat in silence while giving an incredulous look to the airline attendant.
AA: (starting in with a patronizing tone) Ma'am, We just like to have all cell phones turned off during take off and landing. We like to avoid any potential loud music that might disturb the other passengers.
Me: (DO YOU NOT SEE THE HEADPHONES I'VE TAKEN OUT OF MY EAR IN ORDER TO HAVE THIS RIDICULOUS CONVERSATION WITH YOU?????) Of course.
AA: (Full on placating tone now) You can just go ahead and put it away, there's no need to turn it all the way off.
Me: Wow, really? That's great, thanks!
AA: (cheesy smile)

Because He Lives

2010-09-05T13:17:00.001-04:00

God sent His son, they called Him Jesus
He came to love, heal, and forgive.
He lived and died to buy my pardon,
An empty grave is there to prove my Savior lives.

And then one day I'll cross the river,
I'll fight life's final war with pain.
And then as death gives way to victory,
I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives, All fear is gone!
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives!

Things I've learned recently...

2010-09-03T08:44:00.004-04:00

1. If you stay up super late for multiple evenings, I think you start acting as if you're in some kind of super charged mode or perhaps like you're taking some kind of illegal substance. I'm sure the crash will eventually happen, but until it does.... Walmart? 3am? Yes, please!

2. Thursday night as cleaning night, brilliant. I woke up this morning (Friday) and realized I have a completely spotless (maybe not completely spotless but pert ner') house in which to begin the weekend. Score!

3. I can, if provoked, be a bit of a rebel. I'm not sure it's full on anarchy status yet.... I mean, I'm not be checking out the latest tattoo designs or anything, but you never know ;)

4. I do not miss school. I repeat. I DO NOT miss school.

5. I love conversation! Good conversation, boring conversation, funny, sweet, entertaining, it doesn't matter. I like it all! I never would have thought of myself as a talker, but my goodness. I like hearing what people have to say. So get a list of awesome questions, find someone you think is fun and go to town!

Ahhhhh relaxation....

2010-08-15T20:04:00.003-04:00

So it's been a week since I finished my masters degree, and I have done absolutely nothing productive. As a tribute to this new found level of laziness, I thought I would list out what has occupied my time this last week.

1. TV. Really, I had no idea how relaxing and wonderful TV can be.

2. Reading. I pulled out a nonsense book that a friend let me borrow. It has the wonderful smell and the crackling of the plastic that always covers a library book. I was in heaven!

3. Cooking. It really is fun to put more effort into dinner than just "heating up" some leftovers or eating a bowl of cereal.

4. Cleaned off my desk. I finally went through and trashed every paper that had anything to do with class. I'm ashamed to even acknowledge how many pages of assignments, journal articles and rough drafts I tossed, but my desk is looking positively amazing!

5. I finally set up my Google Reader. Right now I have mostly "field" feeds for librarianship, but don't worry....I'll be adding some more that cover the really important topics like celebrity gossip. For now, however, I'm enjoying just scrolling through article and article knowing that I don't have to read it and won't be graded on my summation of the thesis!

TV therapy

2010-08-07T08:12:00.004-04:00

I remember a time when my brother and sister and I would be in our pajamas on Saturday morning, eating cereal out of what now would be called cool retro bowls while watching cartoons. Our little black and white tv use to sit in the bookcase and we would gather around right in front of it. It was magical! A few years ago I decided that I would stop watching tv all together, use my time wisely and be productive. I thought I was wasting my life with hour after hour of tv shows. Although you know what, since then a lot of life has happened. And frankly, it's changed my mind about a lot of things. I like tv! It relaxes me and makes me laugh. The RIGHT kind of television anyway. A friend of mine recently blogged about this same concept. I only watch fun and light-hearted comedy sitcoms. I know that seems surface and simple, but that's the kind of therapy I need right now. My friend Kelli said it perfect, life is too short.

I don't enjoy watching about crimes and murders (fact or fiction), the medical dramas, unsolved mysteries and the like. Instead, I enjoy hearing laughter, witty banter, and watching friends and families interact in regular life kind of ways. I enjoy escaping from my current responsibilities for a few minutes to get some feel-good moments of therapy. It's only made better when I get to sit around the same living room (although the tv no longer sits in the bookcase) with my friends or family. I think it's as magical as being 5 years old and watching Saturday morning cartoons!

No Tylenol PM for me :)

2010-07-04T13:24:00.001-04:00

Refreshing Sleep
"So He giveth His beloved sleep" (Psalm 127:2).

Ours is not a life of anxious care but of happy faith. Our heavenly Father will supply the wants of His own children, and He knoweth what we have need of before we ask Him. We may therefore go to our beds at the proper hour and not wear ourselves out by sitting up late to plot, and plan, and contrive. If we have learned to rely upon our God, we shall not lie awake with fear gnawing at our hearts; but we shall leave our care with the LORD, our meditation of Him shall be sweet, and He will give us refreshing sleep.

To be the LORD's beloved is the highest possible honor, and he who has it may feel that ambition itself could desire no more, and therefore every selfish wish may go to sleep. What more is there even in heaven than the love of God? Rest, then, O soul, for thou hast all things. Yet we toss to and fro unless the LORD Himself gives us not only the reasons for rest but rest itself. Yea, He doth this. Jesus Himself is our peace, our rest, our all, On His bosom we sleep in perfect security, both in life and in death.

Sprinkled afresh with pardoning blood,
I lay me down to rest
As in the embraces of my God,
Or on my Saviour's breast.

Taken from "Faith's Checkbook", by Charles Spurgeon

Tragedies of Life

2010-06-29T09:11:00.004-04:00

So this week I started to notice a lot of Facebook activity about a sweet, little girl named Ava, but I didn't fully understand it right away because I'm only friends with certain people. See, I went to school with a great fella named Joel. His brother's little girl has just been diagnosed with brain cancer. This is difficult for me to understand. But even more than that, I don't understand how, after reading both Joel and Josh's blogs, they can still be functioning upon hearing such life-altering news. God's strength alone. And I'm not talking about some vague, super natural power that 98% of the world believes might be out there....I'm talking about the God of Abraham, the God of the Old and New Testament and His perfect son Jesus Christ.

God does not give us strength to handle the tragedies of life 5 years before they happen or even 5 minutes before they happen. If we draw near to God, He is walking with us through each step of life. So if or even when certain tragedies happen, we have His strength and peace in that exact moment. This is why worrying really is purposeless. I worry about things like cancer, losing my job, never marrying, dying alone and a myriad other little things. Truth is, I might go through cancer, never marry, lose my job AND die alone...and that's ok. Such things seem overwhelming, scary and impossible to handle if I let myself worry about them. This is because I haven't been given the strength to handle them today. Today I simply have to handle today. Let those days, whenever they might be, handle themselves.

This is the day which the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24

Freedoms

2010-03-24T15:31:00.003-04:00

Dear Ottawa Citizen,
In lieu of your recent statement regarding Ann Coulter visiting your university to debate politics, let me remind you of the purpose of university campuses, both in the United States and throughout the world.

1. The freedom to access information.
2. The freedom to spiritly debate.
3. The freedom to speak.

Instead you have chosen to have your university campus be a campus that, and I quote, "promise(s) our students a safe and positive space. And that's not what (Coulter) brings."

Education should never be based on these principles. Knowing only one side of an issue is neither safe nor positive. And hearing what others have to say is obviously not what Canada brings.

Sincerely,
Freedom Supporter

Letter to the Company

2010-03-05T14:29:00.002-05:00

Dear Parts and Fittings Company,
I realize you've been supplying the industry with parts and fittings since 1901, but please stop sending me your giant 3,856 page catalog with over 480,000 parts and fittings. I don't want it. I didn't ask for it. You make me feel like I'm chopping down a tree and throwing it away myself by not keeping it. All of your catalog numbers and corresponding fittings are online. I know how to Google.
Sincerely,
Online Shopper

Returning to Independence

2010-01-29T13:43:00.003-05:00

I read an article today about how Bin Laden urged his followers not to do business with American companies and to let the dollar fall into insignificance. He said that by boycotting American products it would also lessen our ability to fund the war on terror. Financially speaking, he is right in that respect. If countries no longer accepted our aid, purchased our goods or sought to do business with Americans, our economy would drastically falter. But it got me thinking of this on a grander scale. What would happen if countries stopped purchasing American products. What are legitimate American products these days anyway? Would this change us?

It would. We would no longer be able to borrow money. If we can't borrow money then we couldn't purchase imported items, and we wouldn't be able to fund our military as it has been. I think it would dramatically change the image of what America is today, but the America I love would return to take the place of this America that is seen today. Oh we'd probably look a little rough, but we would be forced to grow a spirit of independence once again. We would not rely on other countries for our finances or our consumer products. I would consider this true liberation!

I don't want to be giving aid to countries that despise our economy, our capitalistic ideals or our religious freedom. I don't want to be driving a car that comes from a country that mocks us. And I certainly don't want to be buying plastic uselessness from a country that mass produces it, even if it only costs me 25 cents. I'm not sure there is an actual solution to this calculated house of cards we've created where countries are dependent on each other and enemies are doing business with each other. If nothing else,though, I plan on boycotting them long before they boycott me.

iphone, or well ifired ;)

2009-11-05T09:19:00.004-05:00

So the iphone has been in my possession for a short while, just 5 days. The problem with the iphone is that it's way more fun than working, doing school work, cleaning the house, potentially even hanging out with friends. This is a problem! Life can not simply be an iphone, right?! But the fact that I can battle it out against the computer with a game of Risk, listen to Christmas music, email my friends (since I'm clearly not hanging out with them) and receive phone calls all at the same time is really quite marvelous.

Thanks to all of the wonderfully free apps, it's amazing anyone gets anything done anymore. I discovered Jingle Jumble this morning. I'm almost on level 3 and frankly, this has become my new goal, well that and making sure all the christmas ornaments line up appropriately in Fuzzle or all the little fuzzy balls can be flung in the right direction for Fling. And if it's this or place orders and make travel arrangements for faculty, well they're just going to have to wait. Becuase if my hangman dies or my checkers aren't kinged, or even worse, pac-man doesn't survive the maze, well there's just no point in living.

You're gonna miss this....

2009-10-29T10:21:00.003-04:00

So yesterday I was driving to dinner like I do every Wednesday for girl's night, and I started flipping through the radio stations. I flipped to the only one playing a song and started listening. It was a country song, and I probably came in as it was halfway done. It didn't matter though becauase I still managed to get the idea of the song. Before you know it, I was getting all teary. So along with the song playing in the background, I started thinking of the things I would miss about this time. They are too many to count for these are definitely some good times. I know the future is inevitable, and eventually I'll have the job I have been going to school to get and a house of my own and so many other things that I have wanted. Until then though, I want ever so much to appreciate the time I'm in right now and the things that are here, for when it is done...I'm gonna miss it.

You're Gonna Miss This
She was starin' out the window of that suv
Complainin' saying i cant wait to turn 18
I'll make my own money and I'll make my own rules
mama put the car in park out there in front of the school
and she kissed her head and said i was just like you

your gonna miss this
your gonna want this back
your gonna wish these days
hadn't gone by so fast
these are some good times
so take a good look around
you may not know it now
but your gonna miss this

before she knows it shes a brand new bride
in her one bedroom apartment and her daddy stops by
he tells her its a nice place, she says itll do for now
starts talkin bout babies and buyin a house
daddy shakes his head and says, baby slow down

cause your gonna miss this
your gonna want this back
your gonna wish these days
hadnt gone by so fast
these are some good times
so take a good look around
you may not know it now
but your gonna miss this

five years later theres a plumber workin on the water heater, dogs barkin, phones ringin, one kids crying
ones screamin and she keeps apoligizin

he says they dont bother me ive got 2 babies of my own
ones 36, ones 23, huh its hard to beleive

but your gonna miss this
your gonna want this back
your gonna wish these days
hadn't gone by so fast
these are some good times
so take a good look around
you may not know it now
but your gonna miss this

I must have a sexy voice....

2009-09-30T16:42:00.002-04:00

I don't know what it is about placing orders with these fellas, but the following conversation was definitely a hoot!

Him: Where are you located?
Me: Florida
Him: Ohhhhh I love forida. Let me tell you...I was just recently in Florida, not but 10 minute drive from the ocean.
Me: Oh yes, the ocean is beautiful.
Him: Ohhh I was there, and as I was walking along the beach, I just said it couldn't get any prettier than this.
Me: Oh well you know, you do kind of get use to it after years of living here.
Him: Well, Babe, if I was there..we'd be going, you have got to do some fishing at night in Florida.
Me: Did you just call me Babe??

Latest developments with school work...

2009-09-26T10:29:00.003-04:00

1. Was assigned an ILS product review
- I googled "ILS"

2. Was assigned a SWOT analysis of a current company
- I googled "SWOT"

3. Was told to post regarding Clarion's OPAC system, Pilot
- I googled "OPAC"

4. Was asked how my internet connection is created at home versus my local library
- I googled "proxy server", "IP address", and "Routers"

5. Was asked to define "Symbolic-interpretive" as an inspiration for organization theory
- I googled how to get an MS degree in two weeks by mailing a check for $5,000

a poem

2009-09-22T12:00:00.003-04:00

Ode to a Yellow Jacket

There once was a yellow jacket, alive and well
Until that fateful day into my shower he fell

All pretty and yellow with rings of black
It's sad that for survival he has no knack

Round and round the water did swirl
"You've stung your last!", said one very sweet girl

Resistent til the end, this critter did struggle
His life in my hands, I carefully did juggle

All too soon it was over from one final crush
And into the toilet for a really quick flush

Really?

2009-09-18T20:26:00.004-04:00

I can't help but chuckle as to the great lengths companies are going to these days to assist people in never learning how to cook. This is the latest and greatest development, microwaveable rice. Is it really so hard to put a scoop of rice in the rice cooker, add some water and turn it on? Is it because we are increasingly impatient? I believe this Uncle Ben's package is advertising that it can be "cooked" in 90 seconds. That's definitely quicker than my rice cooker, but seriously, is this as good as it gets?

What's so wrong with learning how to cook a couple dishes? I'm going to be old-school here and speak just to the ladies. I know you're busy managing everything from work to the house, but it really doesn't take that much to learn! Although I have to be honest, if the saying is true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach then I do believe I'm beating out my competition hands down just by knowing how to boil water ;)

random insight into my mornings....

2009-09-16T10:59:00.002-04:00

So every morning, my dear sweet kitty Shakespeare practically breaks down my bedroom door in order to be near me. He is not a very noisy kitty, but as if on cue with my alarm clock, he begins to meow so loud and so mournful that I always think something is wrong. Every single morning, I greet him with a little trepidation about what I might find to be the problem. He meets me right at my bedroom door, waits for my feet to be right next to him and then begins to take me on a journey through the house.

I always wonder if he's trying to show me something terrible or if he is desperately trying to alert me to something that's going on in the house. I treat him as if he's Lassie about to show me where Timmy is hiding in the well, or in this case if something has happened to Annabel. I follow him around as he keeps pace with my feet. Inevitably, every morning he leads me directly to the same spot...his favorite window. I lean over the table in front of it, pull the blinds up just enough so he can see outside. He settles in on his cozy blanket that sits on the table and curls up.

And yea, I'm starting to wonder if perhaps I'm the one who's Lassie ;) Maybe Shakespeare can train me to bring him treats on command next.

Life: the not-so-understandable part

2009-09-10T16:22:00.003-04:00

It's an interesting thing trying to make sense of that which is difficult to understand. It can come in a myriad of forms from the jobs we lose, the people we love who die too early or our most heartfelt dreams being deferred. It leaves me with a yearning for life to be simple. If I could just make my life more simple, rather than dealing with all of these complications then surely these unplanned events won't happen. If I could just organize things a little more and have everything in its place then life will always continue on the track I want. It's even tougher to realize that no matter how organized, with it, put together and simple I try to keep things, that it is not chaos but God who reigns supreme.

It takes practically nothing to believe the Bible to be true when everything is going well, after all its a common thought that God is simply a god who blesses. To have faith, always believing God makes the most perfect of decisions for my life in order to cultivate me more like Himself, it almost hurts it's so difficult! In Jeremiah, God promises us that He has plans to prosper and not to harm us. It's a beautiful thing to know that God sees the beginning, middle and end of my life when He says that. He knows what direction to steer me in so that no matter what the circumstances, the best possible outcome can become...possible.

J-O-B

2009-08-26T15:33:00.003-04:00

The good ole' J-O-B. I'm in a completely foul mood because of my job, which is ridiculous because the last time I checked a job is just suppose to be what you do for 40 hours a week in order to afford the rest of your living expenses. Those living expenses are what make up your real "life". It's dinners with friends, a house for your family and a car to drive on road trips or visiting relatives. It's THAT part of your life that determines the type of person you are, not what you do for work.

And yet, society never seems to agree with this attitude. Why is "what do you do?" one of the first questions we ask people? Why is "what do you want to be when you grow up" one of the first questions we ask children? Why can't they be questions about philosophy or religion or even the dreaded topic of politics. Why must it seem that so much weight is placed on the profession a person has rather than the charities they give to or the hobbies they cultivate in their spare time?!

It just so happens that your job can, and often does, affect the rest of your life. It keeps us from being able to suck the marrow out of life. And like any good torture tactic, it's a slow death.

Therefore, upon considering this topic, I have decided to change my answers to the following questions:
What do you do? "Anything and everything that brings me joy and is legal, responsible and affordable."
What do you want to be when you grow up? "It doesn't matter".

Not your Grandma's hubcaps

2009-08-26T09:05:00.002-04:00

Recently I purchased four brand new beautiful tires for my vehicle. I actually love the feeling of new tires, not because I can tell a difference in the driving (although I'm sure I should be able to) but because it makes the car feel like it's ready for anything, a roadtrip at any moment. With new tires, an alignment AND an oil change, I'd say the sky's the limit for where it can go.

Just one thing was missing, hubcaps. Over the last six years of my car ownership, I've lost a couple hubcaps in the process. It didn't bother me too much because I know it's just cosmetic, but when I got the new tires somehow I felt like I should get new hubcaps too. I wanted the car to look complete. This brought me to the auto parts shop where I began browsing for hubcaps.

Auto Parts Worker: May I help you?
Me: Well I was wanting to get some new hubcaps.
APW: Let me show you our display, just let me know which ones you want and I'll get them out of the back for you.
Me: Thanks
(browsing)
Me: Um, Sir? These are some fancy hubcaps. I mean I think those right there are the type that still spin even though the car has stopped moving. Am I right?
APW: Yes, they're quite popular these days.
Me: (chuckling) wow, I just don't think I could do that.
APW: What kind of car do you have?
Me: (interally thinking "are you joking??") Oh it's a Saturn, a sedan.
APW: What about these?
Me: (chuckling again) yea, I'm just not sure you're understanding me. Those are really fancy hubcaps. I'm looking for something more like what your Grandma would have, on her Buick.
APW: (confused) So you want something more conservative?
Me: (what I should have said) Sir, you seem confused. Was it that I used the word Grandma or Buick that threw you off? I want something that's not so flashy, perhaps something that doesn't light up when I brake and doesn't keep spinning even though the car has stopped. When I see hubcaps like that in traffic, it annoys me. I'm not sure you're fully understanding my use of the word "fancy". You see, I'm trying to be polite. I really just want some hubcaps that people aren't going to try and steal should I be in the wrong neighborhood. I just want something to cover the tire.

Me: (what I really said) Yes, something more conservative would be good, thanks.

Just Add Color :)

2009-08-23T12:31:00.004-04:00

It's been a really long time since I've done any coloring, but something about the school supply aisle at my local Target caused me to consider this age old treat. The deal was sealed when the dollar depot had Hello Kitty coloring books on sale for $1.00. Combined with my new 64 pack of Crayola crayons, complete with sharpener on the back, this creative activity was mine for a mere $3.64. I can't tell you how cathartic coloring can actually be. I flip through my coloring book, decide on a particular picture, and begin the process of choosing my favorite color scheme for that page. And then as the crayons brush over the picture, it's as if all the stress and responsibility of life seem to melt away leaving nothing but me and my (perhaps a bit too much at times) intense focus on the task at hand, coloring. I highly recommend it for anyone ages 3 to 99 :)

I'm in love!!

2009-08-23T10:27:00.004-04:00

As many of my loved ones might know, I haven't always been a fan of driving or directions. I remember even when growing up if a friend asked me how to get to my house to pick me up, I wouldn't really know how to tell them the way. I think one of my most dreaded questions is, "Could you tell me how to get to _______?". I despise roadways, maps, interstates, and I especially disdain the green signs which are suppose to be telling me the way to my destination.

This use to be my attitude about driving, until I came face to face with gps navigation. It first happened on my trip to TN. This is what I like to call the testing period. I just wanted to see how it would do, can it be trusted and would it assist us in arriving to our destination with ease. I was not disappointed! Not only did it get us there, but it was accurate to the minute as far as how long it would take to get there. And then yesterday with driving to Sea World, it was my chance to really try it out as the driver. Let me just tell you, even navigating I-4 in darkness on the way home was positively a delight with the sweet voice of the gps navigator telling me that in 800 yards I would be exiting the interstate (ok the voice was british so it told me to exit the motorway, cute ;) and then staying in the left lane.

Where has this technology been all my life?! I feel as if I have a new lease on life and a new fondness for driving. So now when I ponder going somewhere or taking a trip, what use to be an overwhelming feeling of concern or uncertainty has been replaced with an exhilarating feeling of joy! When I'm asked to meet someone somewhere or take a little trip, all I have to do is say, "YES! Do you have an address?" And just as soon as I plug in that information into the navigator and adhere it to my windshield, I am on my way. It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "The world is my oyster!" :)

Student Accounts

2009-08-07T16:45:00.003-04:00

4:10pm- Call Student Accounts on campus to find out information for a student on how to spend the money they received with a scholarship.
4:10pm- On hold, waiting for the next available representative.
4:15pm- Still on hold
4:20pm- Still on hold
4:25pm- A lovely voice answers "Student Accounts, may I help you?" only to immediately disconnect the call and hang up on me.
(A BRIEF MOMENT OF INTENSE FRUSTRATION)
4:26pm- Call Student Accounts
4:30pm- On hold, waiting for the next available representative.
4:35pm- Still on hold
4:40pm- Still on hold
4:45pm- Still on hold
4:46pm- (After listening to MANY minutes of cheesy, "hold" music) I hear a recorded message come on. It says only this.

"You have reached the Student Accounts office. Our office hours for Wednesday and Friday are 8am to 4:30pm. Please call our office again during our available hours. Thank you."

4:47pm- Speechless.

inspired reading...

2009-08-02T08:03:00.002-04:00

There's nothing quite like enjoying some reading in the beauty of God's creation. In the vast openness, I can't help but have it make my sometimes limited thinking switch to the view that anything could be possible. I was reading Elizabeth Elliot's book, "Be Still My Soul". In it she quotes the poem below from an unknown author. Reading it with a prayerful heart caused me to look forward to the next stage of life, something different perhaps or move of the current...either way I am working to view it with excitement rather than fear. If God is always with us, there is nothing to fear in the uknown, nothing to fear in the future, for no matter what it holds, God is already in it.

From an old English parsonage, down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me,
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, as it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the hours the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration-
"DO THE NEXT THING"

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, guidance, are given.
Fear not tomorrows, Child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus,
"DO THE NEXT THING."

Do it immediately, do it with prayer,
Do it reliantly, casting all care,
Do it with reverence, tracing His Hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,
Leave all resultings,
"DO THE NEXT THING."

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
(Working or suffering) be thy demeanor,
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing,
Then, as he beckons thee
"DO THE NEXT THING."

Class Schedule Blues

2009-07-26T12:57:00.002-04:00

So I just received my schedule for Fall semester, and I have to say I'm a little disappointed. I knew I would be taking Integrated Technologies in Libraries and Administration and Management of Libraries, but I wasn't certain of who the professors would be. So when I checked, I hoped to see a new name, no dice. While part of me welcomes the fact that there won't be any new surprises, I know what they want and how to succeed in their class. The problem is... they're kinda lacking. Somewhere along the way, I stopped hoping for easy classes. Of course I still learn the necessary information, but not nearly the amount of information I learn when I'm having to work crazy hard! I mean sure my gpa might suffer from a truly difficult class, and I'd probably dislike every minute of it, but I'd come away with actual skill sets, the kind that can only be learned under that type of instruction. It's a beautiful thing really, actually learning. Until that day, I'll just get through this next semester with half-hearted delight. Who knows, maybe they'll surprise me.

Oh the joy of technology!

2009-06-21T14:19:00.003-04:00

Safari 4.0- The greatness of this new development in technology really speaks for itself. It's amazing.

Note to Self

2009-06-11T19:23:00.002-04:00

This is being written as a reminder of the following things if ever I get the idea that I want to eat in restaurants, shop in various stores, drink coffee at Starbucks, or even hang out with friends night after night.

1. I like being home.
2. I like eating dinner at home.
3. I like making my own coffee whenever I want it.
4. I like the quiet of being alone.
5. I like feeling productive by cleaning.

On a more interesting note, I frequently think that parents these days are too selfish. It's obvious, however, that if I stick to this list my life as a single girl is entirely focused on me. I'm not sure if that's best, but I happen to have plenty of time in the peaceful quietness of this evening to contemplate it while drinking some delicious coffee....that I made....when I wanted it.

I'd rather be...

2009-06-02T14:59:00.002-04:00

I'd rather be the type of girl who drinks soy chai lattes and wears a daisy chain of flowers in her hair, but alas I'm the girl that drinks coffee first thing in the morning and only brushes her hair because she feels it's necessary for societal acceptance.

I'd rather be the type of girl who delights in the great novels of the past such as Shakespeare and Milton like they were as necessary as air, but alas I'm the girl who enjoys the ridiculously lame celebrity gossip magazines so I can find out what they're saying about "John and Kate plus Eight".

I'd rather by the type of girl who is so confident that the future never worries her, but alas I'm the girl who wonders what will happen to our economy, will I marry, what job will I have five years from now, and how long will I live.

I'd rather be the type of girl who is carefree, nonchallant, easy going and relaxed, but alas I'm the girl who frets over bills being paid, do my cats have enough food, did I leave the coffee pot on, is the house going to burn down on my watch and will I have enough money to pay my student loans when I'm done with school.

I'd rather be the type of girl who tries some exotic new recipe every evening because I'm a domestic goddess and everything I touch turns to success, but alas I'm the girl who likes beans and rice because I know I can't mess it up.

I'd rather be the type of girl who is adventurous, young at heart, spontaneous and in a moment's notice could be on a plane to some unknown destination, but alas I'm an old soul, the type of girl who enjoys quiet conversation over coffee and the comfort of routine.

I'd rather be the type of girl who really wants voluntary simplicity, living off the grid and compost toilets, but alas I'm the girl who thrives on electricity, modern conveniences and consumerism.

I'd rather be the type of girl who is sunshine and sweetness at every turn, finding the positive in life's greatest struggles and dishes out handfuls of joy to everyone she meets, but alas I'm the girl who enjoys sarcasm and sees humor in a slightly cynical view of the world.

I'd rather be.....but alas I'm just me :)

I wanna see a storehouse of snow :)

2009-05-07T10:05:00.004-04:00

Many times I feel we become so scientifically minded towards nature and how it works that we forget just who is in control of it. Science is a beautiful description of the intricate details about the order of things. Hopefully it will always lead us back to the Creator of that order. I was reading in Job when God speaks to Job (chapter 38) and asks him many questions. It is a great picture as to the incredible power of God.

These are my favorites:

1. Have you ever in your life commanded the morning and caused the dawn to know its place;
2. Have you entered into the springs of the sea,
3. Or have you walked into the recesses of the deep?
4. Have you entered the storehouses of the snow, or have you seen the storehouses of the hail,
5. Who can count the clouds by wisdom, or tip the water jars of the heavens;

Assumptions

2009-04-27T16:42:00.002-04:00

For all the people I work with throughout the day, please review the following list of assumptions. I assure you that you are responsible for one or all of them.

1. If I don't forward you order confirmations, you assume I haven't gotten them.
2. When I don't answer my phone, you assume I'm not in the office.
3. If I don't confirm receipt of your email, you assume I didn't receive it.
4. When I take a moment to compose myself so as not to say something I could be written up for, you assume I didn't hear you.
5. If I call to question an order you're placing, you assume I need a patronizing tone in order to work faster.
6. When you email me, you assume I need follow-up phone calls, emails and visits in order to process the paperwork.
7. If you give me work to do, you assume it's the only thing I have to do all day.
8. Whether or not I'm at my desk, you assume you can borrow my pens, pencils, stapler, paper, printer, phone, paper clips, stamps or calendar.
9. Because I smile politely when talking to you, you assume I'm a nice person.
10. And when I do forward you confirmations or processed work, you assume that that single-word email reply of "Thanks" is the only thing I need in order to make working here seem positively rewarding.

Consider yourself wrong, on all accounts.

A must read!

2009-04-23T18:33:00.001-04:00

My mom wrote a positively hysterical blog recently about babies and baby gadgets! Enjoy by clicking here :)

Where I'd rather be...

2009-04-21T09:27:00.004-04:00

A friend of mine posted about where she wishes she could be this morning instead of enjoying the routine of daily life. It got me thinking. Where would I rather be? What surprised me, as I clicked through memories and the places I feel most at home, is that rarely do I picture myself with people. Now I do tend to joke, perhaps too much, about disliking people and being anti-social. The truth is; I love people. I love sharing in laughter and swaping stories. It doesn't matter if the people are in my inner circle or just random folks who stop by my desk at work to ask a question. I thoroughly enjoy the art of conversation; it makes me happy.

Which has me wondering why it is that when I picture the times and places which make me the happiest, I'm alone. Whether waking up to a quiet house on saturday morning to enjoy a great cup of coffee, taking a walk when surrounded God's beautiful creation or sitting on a back porch listening to the calming sounds of a river, it is these quiet times alone that stir my heart and give me peace. So I guess for the question of where I'd rather be, anywhere I can be alone. Although now that I think about it, I believe that is the definition of anti-social. Huh.

Save some green by planting it....

2009-03-26T16:44:00.003-04:00

By 1943, Americans planted more than 20 million victory gardens -- at homes and schools and in parks -- that were reported to produce 8 million tons of food that one old film called "America's hidden weapon."

From an article in the LA Times about new gardens springing up, for political reasons. I saw this mentioned on someone's facebook and just had to write about it. Just think of how little involvement we would have to have with countries we shouldn't be importing from if we just put some effort out on the home front! Think of how self-sufficient America could be if we just tried a little harder. America really is the greatest country in the world, even more so when we work together for a common goal. During the wartime, they worked together to avoid dependency on the transportation of food. Maybe the reasons behind it change with time, but the effort should still be there. Just think of what we could achieve...

You could use Ajax or Dawn as well...

2009-03-21T17:13:00.004-04:00

So I realized this morning that I forgot to purchase soap at Target and, since the very last sliver of possible soap was used yesterday, I'm plumb out. I'd say after my day of shopping and yard work that I'm completely filthy so I did what every improvising and intelligent woman would do. I showered with Palmolive. I must say that it has left me feeling very antibacterial and smelling a hint of citrus orange. I'd say that's a win win right there.

the boring gets blogged too....

2009-03-19T08:30:00.003-04:00

I know all of my faithful readers are dying for me to write a new post. It's just that nothing of interest has really happened lately. And so, consider this the post which lists all of the boring things as of late. Brace yourself, you might need some coffee to make it through.

1. The strap on my shoe has started to give, I think I have only a couple times more wearing them before I need to just chuck 'em.
2. I ran out of "sign here" stickers at work and had to order some new ones.
3. Last night, my kitties fought over who would get to sit closest to me.
4. I'm starting my research on metadata and AARC2 cataloging rules, big group presentation. I had to google "metadata".
5. I'm seeing how long I can go before I really do have to clean out a container in the back of my fridge. It's getting a little suspect.
6. I made a paper clip bracelet at work. I also cleaned my keyboard.
7. Yesterday I coded all of the exam answer sheets so they would be anonymous. That was 10 exams, 6 questions each, roughly 5 pages an answer which equals to 300 pieces of paper that needed a white label placed on it and a code given.
8. This morning I spent 20 or more minutes clearing the copy machine of a paper jam.

I know, you envy my life.

I totally belong

2009-03-10T08:47:00.003-04:00

It's an interesting topic when you start to ponder where you really belong, where you feel most yourself and comfortable. Now I love my Starbucks lattes, my Apple products and Target shopping, but where I really feel most at ease and free to just kick back and relax have none of those things. Recently I had the opportunity to go to a local farmer's market and swap meet with some friends. We shopped around, checked out all the historical finds, the pyrex dishes and anything rusty. We snacked on cajun hot boiled peanuts and kettle corn and washed it down with cold lemonade. We purchased strawberries to make homemade strawberry jam, and while hanging out together, we did our hair on the front porch of the dome home. It was then that I realized, I belong here. I belong where the front porch is nearly the same size as the house, conversation is a little slower while enjoyed over a glass of sweet iced tea and dirt roads outnumber paved ones. I belong where the live music has a little bit of a twang and people take time to enjoy the simple things. So while I enjoy my mac computer and lattes, I feel most myself in the country.

Star Wars, really?

2009-03-01T16:22:00.004-05:00

I have now heard it all. Upon asking my professor if he has received all of me and my group partner's search assignments, he responded with this:

I have them all in hand and am working to get them graded. Patience, my padawans.

If I wasn't worried about professor respect, I would have reminded him that the force is strong within me and my need for jedi training is nearing an end.

Ahhh retrospection....

2009-02-20T11:07:00.002-05:00

I have to say it's an interesting thing to spend some time at an oncologist's office. It is a serious battleground between living in the moment and pondering over one's life. I sit here chilling, and while I have plenty of work to do, I can't help but listen to the woman sitting next to me talk to the nurse. The conversation vacillates between wanting to eat a piece of pizza for lunch and discussing how this is the time in life that it's beneficial to have a husband or someone to be with you. She discusses how she was completely awful to her ex-husband and especially his new wife. I can't help but wonder how life will be for me should I ever have to go through any of these things. There is so much uncertainty in life.

What I am certain about, and for sure the only thing I am certain about, is my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I am certain of His constancy and continued presence in my life until I am with Him in eternity. I am certain of His great love for me even though I will never deserve it. I am certain that He alone is the keeper of justice and that my imperfect idea of what is just will probably never match His wisdom. I am certain that should I ever have to go through something so serious that I would not be alone for God himself has promised to never leave us. I cling to this truth as the only thing necessary for my joy. It is all I have sometimes, and that's ok.

So I've been thinking....

2009-02-17T09:20:00.002-05:00

If I just got off the grid and pitched a tent somewhere, the following things would be possible:

1. I could forget this school business. I mean who really needs librarians ;)
2. I wouldn't have to go to work anymore.
3. I could stop brushing my hair entirely.
4. I wouldn't have to do laundry quite so much.
5. I could have some chickens, maybe a goat, and put in a garden!

Yea, I'm seeing this as a very real possibility. I just need to get over my Starbucks addiction, and I'll be good to go ;)

A Comparison

2009-02-15T12:16:00.003-05:00

Getting upset over it being Valentine's Day and not being in a romantic relationship is similar to it being Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and being upset because you're not African-American.

Did he just wave at me?

2009-02-10T20:28:00.003-05:00

So I pull myself off the couch and put on some shoes in order to make it to the CVS.

Description of appearance: fugly, as in the bangs were sort of smooshed to one side, the clothes were wrinkled and not matching. I had weird walmart cheap flip flops on and hadn't showered. I'm not being dramatic when I say fugly.

I took a sick day today, and am unfortunately actually sick. I needed to get to CVS in order to purchase my weight in over the counter drugs. I set my filled basket down at the register and the fella proceeds to ring up my goods. He says, "Wow, that's a lot of items to fight a cold." My response is, "Yes, well I was planning on taking them all at the same time. Do you think that will work? Cause I'm wondering if the Dayquil and the Nyquil will actually counteract each other if taken together".

I drag myself to my car, tissues and medicine in hand as I hear someone honking at me. I look up with a disgusted look on my face. He waves. Some random Joe in a scary white van waves at me. no no..HONKS and waves! This is not your ordinary "mom and three kids" kind of van, but a scary, commercial-size, no windows, straight out of a Lifetime movie type white van. He then pulls into the gas station next to the CVS. I get in my car and pull out towards the gas station. We make eye contact again. And would you believe it, AGAIN he waves! He's a little more hesitant this time like "hhhmm is that really the neighbor lady who sits on the back pew at church??" kind of wave. I sort of shrug my shoulders and mouth, "I don't know you dude".

Don't worry, I faked right and took the other exit, and then made sure no one was following me home. I know how those Lifetime movies end. Let's just say it ain't always feel good television.

Could you repeat the question?

2009-01-30T10:26:00.005-05:00

The following are sentences from my textbook. I have no idea what they mean, which I think might be a bad sign for academic success.

"A frame is a receptacle for information about an entity or event. It contains slots to hold the attributes of the entity. As the text is parsed or the cues read, the slots are gradually filled in."

"This chapter looks at document and information resource representations and surrogates; that is a metadata that identifies and characterizes, and often serves as a key for retrieving the actual documents."

"The proliferation of metadata standards developed by different but often overlapping communities of interest is undermining the opportunities for exchange of metadata."

"Parity checking is based on the possibility that one of the bits in a character may get transformed, but it is unlikely that two bits in the same character will get changed."

Good to know.
______________________________________________________________________

Resources:
Picture taken from Dr. Randy Ralph's tutorial on Boolean Logic
Organizing Knowledge by Jennifer Rowley and Richard Hartley
Online Retrieval: A Dialogue of Theory and Practice by Geraldene Walker and Joseph Janes

Ordering Fun

2009-01-29T13:39:00.002-05:00

Ok so I'm placing this order with SPI supplies right, and the girl sounded completely automated.

"Hello, and thank you for calling Structure Probe Incorporated. How may I help you today?"

I pause and start talking, but it's as if the computer program, "Allison" is filtering through all of her possible answers to see what to say next cause there are these crazy awkward pauses. Well I then actually laugh and say "you kinda threw me there in the beginning because it was sounding a little automated, but I wasn't entirely sure". She just kind of paused and then said "I can start with the part number, whenever you are ready". Oh um.....

So then she is telling me about the shipping charges and says "We charge a flat rate whether or not you are using UPS or Federal Express. We can ship faster, but I can not give you a flat rate price for that at this time". I laugh again and say, "Well I like the UPS guy more than the FedEx guy, so do you think that would work?".

"I will make a note of your preference on the order".

A joke for my readers.....

2009-01-10T22:30:00.004-05:00

So a man goes to a preacher and asks for him to give the eulogy for his brother's funeral. The brother says, "You can say whatever you want but at some point I want you to mention that my brother is a saint. Remember, say whatever you will, but I want you to say he is a saint during the eulogy."

The preacher gets up and begins the eulogy. He says, "Before you lies the worst possible excuse of a human. He was gambler, a drunk, a thieving, disgusting beast who never had any ounce of character. Compared to his brother, however he was a saint."

Valedictions

2009-01-08T16:50:00.003-05:00

My professor for Online Databases signed his class-wide announcement as follows:

Make it so,
The Boss

I have nothing to add to that.

Continuing Saga

2009-01-07T10:55:00.002-05:00

Mystery man returned. This time he wanted the room number for a particular course. I did not have the answer, DRAT! I do, however, have connections. You need not fear; I will be getting his name in no time. Let's hope it's not something like Bartholomew. That would somehow be disappointing.

Justice

2009-01-03T15:58:00.003-05:00

Disclaimer: Because I have been raised by the mom that I have been truly blessed with, she has instilled in me the fear of "big brother". As in, don't say that "they" might hear you, or don't do that "they" might see you. Before you know it, you'll be on a list, you know, the list "they" monitor!! And because of this, I will be writing a post that is tame compared to my true ideas. Just take this post and multiply it by 100 so you know my true feelings.

Note to "THEM": If you find my post a problem, please let me know.

So we were sitting around our family's (grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins) lunch table discussing some of the local talk on individuals awaiting trial and other criminals (yes yes, innocent before proven guilty, I know!) in the area who are filling up our jails. Did you know that our taxes pay to PROTECT these criminals in prison?? It's called protective custody, and it was the first time I had actually thought this through. The really awful prisoners get special protection in prison so the other inmates don't "do away with them". Let me just say this..I think there should be a separate justice system for those people who are upstanding citizens and a different system for inside prisons. Can't the guards just turn a blind eye and what happens happens? I mean, wouldn't that in a sense cut down on the costs of prisons and the amount of funding it takes to take care of all the prisoners?? Just let them do what they're good at.....you know....criminal activity! Let them use their "skills" in order to weed out the really dangerous ones from the rest of the group. I don't see the problem with this!

Let justice be served.

Completely Unnecessary....

2008-12-29T22:09:00.002-05:00

This is merely a blog so I can show off my hair.....i thought it looked cute :)

Numbers....

2008-12-18T16:19:00.003-05:00

700: The number of points my course was worth.
18: How many points I was away from an "A".
4.0: The number of academic perfection.
.09: How far away I will be from perfection if all other grades are "A".
562: Number of tears shed.

DMV

2008-12-15T09:39:00.004-05:00

Appointment time: 8:15am
Time arrived: 8:05am
Time seen: 8:07am, Incredible!

Disclaimer: This DMV post does not discuss the time delay in being seen. If you ever go to the DMV, make an appointment. There were about 20 people standing in line when the DMV representative came out and said, "Does anyone here have an appointment?". I raise my hand. I'm the ONLY person who raises their hand. He then ushers me past all 20 people to walk into the office first. I resisted the urge to turn around and say, "suckers!".

Conversation with DMV person, Ralph.

R: That will be $20
Me: Here you go
R: We don't accept Visa
Me: Excuse me?
R: We don't accept Visa. We accept credit cards, just not that one.
Me:(Tapping to the card I was sent in the mail) You should put that on there, you know.
R: (silence)
Me: What if I didn't have any other form of payment. I'd have to come back. Oh my goodness, I would be so upset!
R: (silence)
Me: (handing over another card, kinda smiling) And I thought Visa was everywhere you wanted to be.
R: Not here
Me: Well then I guess this isn't where you want to be (I chuckle, I can't help it. I am alone in the chuckling)
R: Please sign here.
Me: Wait a minute, I thought you said it was $20.
R: There's a dollar charge for using your credit card.
Me: Are you serious? I think that's something else you should have said.
R: Go have a seat while I print your new license.

Front receptionist: Would you like to fill out a survey?
Me: Gladly.

Laugh, Cry.....Remember

2008-12-13T15:25:00.003-05:00

I was driving home from work friday afternoon trying to simultaneously organize my final exam in my head. My thinking was stopped when I saw a bumper sticker on the back of a car. It said simply, "Laugh, Cry....Remember". It got me thinking about the things I remember and whether or not they make me laugh or cry. Here are a few I came up with.

I remember.....
1. How excited we use to get at the thought of going to secret lake park to play on the playground.
2. Sitting in the back of the station wagon while singing the donut song on the way to dunkin' donuts.
3. Racing to see who could crawl under all the pews the fastest.
4. Wanting so much to be thought of as cool in 5th grade. (Why didn't someone tell me that no one is cool in 5th grade?)
5. Mr. LeMaster using an overhead projector and transparencies to teach math. I thought he was so advanced.
6. Not wanting to go to the hospital to see my mom after she had surgery. (If only I had realized how much she didn't want to be there either!)
7. How good it felt to tell the little girls in my camp cabin about the love of Jesus.
8. The smell of Orlando Hall.
9. The first time I realized that I had legitimately been lied to at work. I just didn't understand how some people are simply ok with that.
10. How incredible it feels to be noticed.
11. Spending more time cutting out tombstones and decorating the office than actually working at the CPRD.
12. Being scared out of my mind that I had contracted some crazy disease in Mexico (sun poisoning can look life-threatening!)
13. The accomplished feeling of getting an acceptance letter in the mail.
14. Hearing mom's keys jingle down the hall as she rounded the corner to meet me for lunch.
15. How good it feels to submit finals and for the first time in months not have anything I should be doing.

Da Studies

2008-12-07T09:51:00.003-05:00

Recently I was encouraged to write something interesting about my studies, and so I shall. I think it's quite possible that people do not fully understand what it means to study Library Science as how could it possibly take 2 years to learn how to check some books out and learn the Library of Congress classification system for re-shelving. Oh Contrar.
As a recap of this first semester of studies, I thought I would list (YES LIST!) out my favorite topics, issues, policies and so forth from the last semester.
1. ALA Code of Ethics. Who knew that there is a published code of ethics that librarians must follow. With questions posed to my fellow students and myself such as, "Would you give a 12 year old girl who has noticeably been crying a book on suicide?" or "Would you assist a man of Middle Eastern decent locate bomb making skills on the internet?" and so forth. The answer is yes.
2. The reference desk. Much upcoming discussion surrounds the purpose and necessity of the reference desk being actually a physical desk located somewhere throughout the public or academic library. With the addition of email, text, chatting, facebook, blogs and phones, is it really even necessary to go to the library? Nearly 1/3 of all library personnel are currently reference librarians. This removal of the reference desk would surely change the face of the library facility.
3. Cataloging. Ok, in truth, I still don't fully understand the science behind cataloging. It's more than just learning what everything means as it's all very cryptic, MARC records, AACR2 and IR Systems. It's a fascinatingly organized method in which all sources of information are documented with its own record and then assigned a classification number. Librarians all over the world are continually checking the catalog (this does not refer to your personal library's catalog, but more the universal catalog) for updates, typos and reclassifications that are necessary.
4. Favorite assignments: I had two assignments called Question Sets. The first was based specifically on print reference resources and the second on electronic. Ok, so for my beloved readers, I will give you one of the questions I was assigned. If you can post back the answer in the comment section using only a print resource (that means a book!) then the prize will be yours ;)

I’m an American Civil War aficionado! Can you please tell me how many soldiers Grant had at the FIRST Battle of Vicksburg? Actually, I could use a good map of that battle… do any maps have the battles and number of soldiers together?

All about men!

2008-12-03T10:55:00.004-05:00

Dear Readers-
It comes with much introspection, and events as of late that I have begun to ponder what truly makes a man worthy of attention. If you had asked me at 16, 22 or even 26, I probably would have given you a different answer each time. Rather than suggest the rubric for a person's worth changes with the seasons, it is I who has changed. Maturity and, at times, reality can make our clouded judgement clear again. So for the earlier post when I said muscles were the end all of what makes a fella attractive, I have new insight to share! I was sent these words by a friend of mine, and I thought I would share them with you. Disclaimer: While it does not mention it, I think the true worth of a man (and a woman!) is given to us by the grace of God alone. I have no worth outside of the redemptive power of Jesus Christ.

The Strength of a Man
The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders;
It is seen in the width of his arms that encircle you.
The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice;
It is in the gentle words he whispers.
The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has;
It is how good a buddy he is with his kids.
The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work;
It is in how respected he is at home.
The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits;
It is in how tender he touches.
The strength of a man isn't in how many women he's loved by;
It is in his ability to be true to one woman.
The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift;
It is in the burdens he can understand and overcome.

Cindy Crawford? What?

2008-11-19T15:08:00.004-05:00

Yes, this conversation has to get blogged. Picture a voice that is sort of old man grossness, while mine is far from amused with a hint of dry humor that only I'm picking up on.

Me: Hi, this is Cindy. I'm calling to get an invoice for an order I recently placed.
Him: Not Cindy Crawford? heh heh heh
Me: No, I don't believe so. Nor do I think she would be making her own calls should she choose to speak with Omega Engineering, the world's leading supplier of engineering parts and manufacturing.
Him: (uproarous laughter) Oh man, that was good. Well you never know do you. So tell me. Is it true what we see up here in the pictures?
Me: Excuse me?
Him: Is it true, the pictures we see of all the co-eds and girls walking around in Florida.
Me: I wouldn't know what kind of pictures you're looking at.
Him:(Similar uproarous laughter)You know, the pictures we see up here of Florida and all the scantily clad women walking around on the beaches. It's as if no one in florida is out of shape.
Me: Similarly, I would think everyone in Connecticut owns toboggan sleds and white lab puppies, or at least that's what I see in the LLBean Catalog.
Him: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh man, you're a sharp one. No wonder they have you working at the university.
Me: Anything I can do to get me through having to make phone calls and ask for invoices.

Acceptance = Happiness

2008-11-17T19:47:00.005-05:00

Yea so I just now attempted to change my blog background to something cooler and hipper and more interesting. Well, never again! I had a brief moment of frustration, but now I have accepted that I'm just not cool. I certainly don't know what to do with html, xml or whatever else it kept telling me I needed to do in order to change the look of my blog. At one point I had changed the entire thing to some crazy code, and that's all I saw when I clicked on the "preview" button. I've been forced to revert back to a boring, standard template. I just know I'm going to be one of those librarians that complains about change and hates all things digital. Encyclopedia Britannica Online? I think not!

I'm giving myself a gift...

2008-11-07T12:41:00.002-05:00

Gift: Taking myself out of life for awhile

Duration: At least a week, hopefully longer

Why: Because I'm tired of thinking, planning, worrying, wondering, fearing and analyzing

What this means: It means I'm not going to think about the reason behind things, worry about my future, plan on anything, wonder what other people are thinking, fear the unknown and analyze that unknown to oblivion.

Responses I will give when life tries to contact me:
Whatever
It doesn't matter
Perhaps another time
I don't care
Try again later
Talk to someone else
We'll see
It is what it is
Maybe, Maybe Not

Addendum

2008-11-05T09:54:00.005-05:00

Mara of the Wilderness: A child of nature...reared by wolves...UNTAMED-UNTOUCHED! She was the hunted and the huntress...fighting for survival against the fury of Forest and Man

For all of those wondering, Mara of the Wilderness was a brilliant film in the 60s. It just so happened that some wonderful sisters, Danielle and Teresa, managed to see this grand production enough times for it to make an impact on them thus becoming a term of endearment for any amazon-like feat of strength while in the great outdoors.

Mara of the Wilderness!

2008-11-05T07:28:00.003-05:00

So last night mom and I realized that a switch had flipped in the breaker in the garage leaving the porch and the septic tank without electricity. Unfortunately, while this still gives electricity to the rest of the house, it effects the water situation for everything. Bottom line: no shower. I have to confess that it'd been a couple days. I've been sick, mom hasn't been feeling the best so we've been embracing pajamas and relaxing. When the possibility of not being able to take a shower comes upon me though, I want nothing else. My mind is consumed with thoughts of being clean.

Thus, Mara of the Wilderness. You all know my hair is pretty long and there's no washing it in a little basin in the sink. Nope.....this called for the use of a hose and the great outdoors. I donned my towel and shampoo and marched outside in the early morning hours so that none of the neighbors would bear witness to this event! I now sit here blogging feeling incredibly clean! I'm considering pitching a tent outside and just soaking in the communing with nature.

WHATEVS!

2008-10-23T13:26:00.007-04:00

I've been told that my blog is getting boring by a couple different people, and I should write something- whatevs!
School work is piling up while I download many different pointless tv shows on itunes to watch- whatevs!
I've been told that the new girl is actually my supervisor- whatevs!
I was told today that if I even considered voting for Obama that I would actually be voting for the unionization of America- whatevs!
My lunch break is already over, but I'm not done enjoying it so- whatevs!
The DHL guy summed me up as being the boring, inteligent one- whatevs!
It's been awhile since I've found something truly funny, other than this post of course, but- whatevs!
It kills me that I got a 49 out of 50 on an assignment that I busted my booty on; I should just be happy I got an A- whatevs!
I already bought a coffee at Starbucks today and I'm getting another one at Joeffry's, budget?- whatevs!
There's a noticeable amount of cat hair on the sofa- whatevs!
I found nothing in the fridge for lunch but white rice- whatevs!
What? I shouldn't be so uncaring about life??- WHATEVS!!!

A quick list...

2008-10-08T10:27:00.003-04:00

1. Sometimes I wish my cats would just disappear. It's cruel...I realize that, but if this world were a perfect place, they would disappear and reappear at my choosing.
2. I've been using my 15-20 minutes of eating dinner time to catch up on the news. If I don't see it flash up on the screen in 20 minutes, then it must not be breaking news and therefore something that will change my life forever and keep me from needing to write the paper I've been putting off.
3. I got mail today (work-related), all the way from Iran. Yes, I checked to see if any powders flew out when I opened it. Although it is an application for Materials Science Engineering, so perhaps it would be an invisible nano-particle type powder. Interesting.
4. Students just stopped by, said they are waiting for a fax, walked over to my desk, told me there is no paper in the fax machine and then watched me as I picked up the paper sitting next to the fax machine and put it in. I refused the urge to say, "was that so hard?".
5. I consider 2pm-4pm the dead zone. I get to work, create this beautiful list of things that I need to get done when I get home and then somewhere between 2pm and 4pm, all motivation is lost. I suddenly no longer want to be uber-productive and would just rather go home, heat up some soup and watch hour after hour of mindless television.

Oh the trials...

2008-09-24T21:20:00.003-04:00

During these weeks with mom post chemo, I have to say I'm faced with many hardships. Oh sure, some would say they are of an emotional type, seeing someone you love not feeling well and the scariness of what this all really means. I completely disagree. Oh that's tough, no doubt, but the trials I'm talking about are of a completely different kind. I'm a list girl, so I figure I'll make a quick list of the top five gems:

5. Hours of flipping through mindless television, afternoon programming is not what I once thought it was.
4. Being told "no", A LOT. How about some peaches? No. poptart? No. orange juice? No. frozen yogurt? Funny, but No.
3. Moving to the porch to sit because it's a change of scenery. It's the same view people, just different furniture.
2. M*A*S*H- Seriously, it's an oddly depressing yet weirdly funny show, and it's on ALL afternoon long. Mom loves it.
1. Campbell's Bean and Bacon Soup. The stuff is orange, and I'm surprised every single time mom thinks it might just be the one thing she can get down. GROSS.

Genius Kitteh, Reads Upside Down

2008-09-19T13:13:00.005-04:00

I'm a hero!

2008-09-19T13:13:00.002-04:00

When choosing between personal desires and the right thing to do, I chose the right thing to do.
When faced with discomfort and slight hysteria, I persevered.
When what I really wanted to do was scream like a little girl, I kept my focus.
When the easy road was a life of captivity and darkness, I chose to give freedom.

I saved a life today. The lizard is no longer trapped in the garage, but once again tasting the sweetness of the great outdoors.

New low....

2008-09-17T09:25:00.004-04:00

This morning I made an appointment to get my oil changed. (This is not the low, by the way). Yes, I prefer making an appointment. I don't have to drive over that giant hole in the ground which I DID see a terrible clip from America's Funniest Home videos of someone completley driving into the hole. My fear has been validated.

So the low is this: I asked if Saturn has wireless internet. I will now get to enjoy feasting on free coffee and doughnuts while working ever so diligently on school work. I'd say that's a step in the right direction for technology!

Scheduling Kitteh

2008-09-15T20:06:00.002-04:00

I think I can squeeze you in....Monday say 6:00-6:30??

Fun conversation.....

2008-09-10T14:09:00.003-04:00

Disclaimer: company name is Blast-it-All

Me: Dialing number.
Them:(monotone voice answers) Good afternoon, Blast-it-All
Me: AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Them: silence
Me: Oh, um yes, this is Cindy with ______ I'm calling to place an order.
Them: silence
Me: (soft chuckling) Don't you ever chuckle that you get to say "Good afternoon blast-it-all" when you answer the phone???
Them: (unamused grunt)
Me: Right, ok I'd like to order......

Grandma burn # 283

2008-09-04T14:06:00.002-04:00

Mom: I think we need to play some cards.

Cindy: Oh let me sleep for just a bit. I need some extra energy so I can beat you guys.

Grandma: It's gonna take more than energy.

Ohhhhh Grandma!!!

marriage, men and game

2008-09-01T13:41:00.003-04:00

So here we all sat yesterday, enjoying our afternoon. The "we" there is the sweet blessing of three generations of women under one roof supporting my mom as she goes through this crummy week and encouraging her to know that there are bright days ahead. This blessing of female solidarity is NOT what I'm writing about. Instead, I would like to tell a little story about what took place in the afternoon. I sat at my computer, playing around checking email and the like when I noticed that my Grandma was talking with my Grandpa on the phone and my mom was video chatting with my dad. Both my mom and my grandma were talking with their men. Now granted they are both married and have been for a total of something like eight-five years combined. Of course they would be talking with their fellas, but I have to admit....I was a little annoyed. Why is it that marriage seems to be the ultimate reward in life for women. If you're godly enough, keep a good enough house, have just enough spunk mixed with enough holly homemaker tendencies that you'll land yourself a man and enter into the sacred hall of marriagedom with all the other godly, holly homemaker types who have also achieved this ultimate victory. I started filtering through the possibilities of men I know, wondering if any are truly marriage material, wondering if any are interested in me, wondering if I'll be granted this sort of extreme privilege of matrimony someday.

I wish I could say this post will end with sharing about the blessings of the single life and how I'm patiently waiting and wanting the life that God has intended for me, but alas it does not. I do seek the life that God would want for me, and I am trying desperately to wait patiently if God has a fella in mind that He would like for me to love and honor and respect all the days of my life. Until then, however, I simply sit here at my computer writing a post about how my mom and grandma both have more game than I do!

Total Annihilation!

2008-08-26T18:59:00.005-04:00

There I was, having just returned home from work, standing next to the sink about to clean up the few remaining plates and prepare dinner. I looked down and saw a giant wing flap against the side of the drain. It was a wasp! Thankfully it was next to the drain and I suddenly began the ancient Chinese water torture, except it wasn't a slow agonizing trickle but rather an attempt to drown the creature by pummeling it with wave after wave of rushing water from the water sprayer. I can not tell you how long I continued to spray the disgusting creature with water, but I assure it seemed like a lifetime. Time after time it would begin to flap its wings and desperately attempt to crawl out from the drain area and seek freedom. I applauded its resilience while simultaneously cursing its indestructible qualities.

I realized after about 3 minutes of direct water that this thing was not going to die by water torture alone. I had to engage in plan B. I absolutely had to maintain direct water contact as I began to fear it would escape and become a raging creature of death out to destroy me. While holding the water sprayer with my right hand, I stretched as far over as possible to the left to grab the paper towel roll. I grabbed the paper towels and began unrolling sheet after sheet off the roll. I had gathered a sufficient enough ball of torture and stood there watching this wasp fight for its life and contemplated how to handle this final stage of execution. I had to time it perfectly because I wanted to stop the water and then kill it without too much lapse time, allowing it to escape. I quickly turned the water off with one hand while focusing all of my strength of pushing the paper towels against the sink drain and capturing the winged critter in a suffocating and dismembering death. Don't worry, I checked to make sure he was most definitely dead before I once again squished him between the deadly walls of paper towel.

I WAS VICTORIOUS!!!!!!

2008-08-22T12:35:00.003-04:00

Please see the latest from a favored blog of mine. This is positively hysterical!

http://danielle-everydaythoughts.blogspot.com/

Great Faith

2008-08-20T14:31:00.003-04:00

The Mueller's set off for the United States in August 1877 aboard the Sardian…Off Newfoundland the weather turned cold and the ship's progress was seriously delayed by fog. The captain had been on the bridge for 24 hours when something happened which was to revolutionize his life; George Mueller appeared beside him.

"Captain, I have come to tell you I must be in Quebec by Saturday afternoon."
"It is impossible," said the captain.
"Very well, " said Mueller, "if your ship cannot take me, God will find some other way--I have never broken an engagement for 52 years. Let us go down into the chart-room and pray."
"Mr. Mueller," he said, "do you know how dense this fog is?"
"No, my eye is not on the density of the fog, but on the living God, who controls every circumstance of my life."

Mueller then knelt down and prayed simply. When he had finished the captain was about to pray, but Mueller put his hand on his shoulder, and told him not to.

"First, you do not believe He will' and second, I believe He has, and there is no need whatever for you to pray about it."
"Captain," he continued, I have known my Lord for 52 years, and there has never been a single day that I have failed to get an audience with the King. Get up, captain, and open the door, and you will find the fog is gone."

The captain walked across to the door and opened it. The fog had lifted. It was the captain himself, who later told the story of this incident, and who was subsequently described by a well known evangelist as "one of the most devoted men I ever knew."

It was prayer that swept his soul free of doubt, distemper, and the after-effects of a trial by the incoming tide of peace. For this reason he could make such remarks as this entry on March 9, 1847, "The greater the difficulties, the easier for faith." And a later one, "The greater the trial, the sweeter the victory."

-Excerpt from christianadoption.com

Forecast....

2008-08-17T14:52:00.004-04:00

Tuesday Forecast: Make coffee before I lose electricity. Charge computer and portable dvd player. Locate and arrange peanut butter, bread, water, golden girls dvds and flashlights. I can't wait for a day off work!

Free Citizenship

2008-08-12T18:40:00.007-04:00

All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. - Fourteenth Amendment

Today I experienced my very first legitimate frustration with regards to the Constitution of the United States. I firmly believe that we should uphold our Constitution with the strictest of rulings. I feel it should be a closed document, one that should never be altered.... just not today!!

We have many international students living here that are starting families. Naturally, those children automatically become US citizens. This should not be! And on top of that, I was asked to write a letter that would allow two of those students to apply for Medicaid for their child. How dare their children automatically be bestowed with all the rights and privileges of United States citizenship. I felt the injustice of how hard I work to pay for my own medical insurance only to have internationals having children on US soil, and my hard-earned money going to pay for THEIR medical costs as well. I understand poverty, and with my compassionate heart, I feel a need to take care of those within our country, but I refuse to work hard for these people who pop out their babies in the US and suddenly feel they deserve everything.

I have decided that my new stance is that in order for a baby to be granted citizenship, it needs to be born to two US citizens. If this is not the case, then they can file for citizenship like everyone else. We have an appropriate due process for average people to be given the gift of citizenship. It's not impossible. If we don't become a bit more serious about who should and should not be citizens, the very weight of citizenship and what it means will become worthless.

Email Interpretation

2008-08-11T15:21:00.005-04:00

He wrote this:
"Ok. Yesterday I changed my other tickets for 140 per ticket"
But really meant this:
"Ok, I guess that will have to do. Seeing as how you naturally appear the type to be so incapable that you are frequently taken advantage of, I would like to help you out by letting you know that the price I was able to achieve yesterday was at least half of what you got. You don't deserve the desk you sit at, title you carry, or air you breath. It's a wonder you're able to accomplish anything from the mundane to the meaningful. With your said incapable qualities, you have cost me my precious million-dollar time which translates into research. It would appear the university has not given me any other staff in which I can deal with, so you, along with your pathetic excuse of a airline ticket exchange, will have to suffice."

Incredible

2008-08-11T14:23:00.002-04:00

What an amazing reminder for when I feel so inept with what to say.

"And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." Romans 8:26

Happy Birthday Christina!

2008-08-10T09:32:00.004-04:00

I have such a wonderful sister, and I'm thankful for her! I just wanted to give a sweet tribute to her on her birthday. I celebrated this special occasion with thick sliced sourdough bread from Panera along with the house hazelnut blend of coffee, just like we use to during sister planning sessions at Panera. It needed to be cooler weather outside, but it was quite lovely all the same. I enjoyed those days together and miss them often. Just as soon as I am granted the super power of my choice, I will teleport myself to Wales to enjoy a slice of that birthday cake with you :) Love you Sis!

I'm on day 22, beware.....

2008-08-07T08:29:00.005-04:00

I've recently started drinking Naked fruit juice every morning on my way to work in an effort to boost my immune system's fighting power and create a well-working force field against bacteria and sickness which surrounds us on a continual basis. I firmly believe that I feel better because of it. If you are unaware of the product, it has a pound of fruit in every bottle, and the vitamins and antioxidants are abounding. They always have quippy little sayings on the side of the bottle describing that particular flavor. They speak of faraway tropical places and breezy, summer days. I really need it to only say one thing for me to keep drinking it. "Naked fruit juice, so good for you that after 30 days, you'll have 100% confidence to drink it....Naked."

The quest for certainty

2008-08-06T08:40:00.007-04:00

I was talking with a friend (nay a GREAT friend) of mine last night, and I was sharing with her that I just wish I knew for certain so many more things than I do. I wish I knew what the future held. I wish I knew how specific things are going to turn out ahead of time. She's such an encouraging friend; I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation we shared. After I got off the phone, the conversation led me to create a list of things I know with absolute certainty.

Updated list
1. God has a distinct plan for my life.
2. Waking up earlier makes for an unrushed morning.
3. My friends listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit ;)
4. Tea can, at times, be soul-satisfying.
5. Music makes the work day go by faster.
6. God hears me when I pray.
7. I always smile when I think about a particular person.
8. My mom is an incredible woman.
9. The sun will rise and set each day, time continues on.
10.All food sounds incredible when I'm hungry.

Civic Duty

2008-08-04T09:21:00.004-04:00

Finally, and I do mean FINALLY after being an actively registered voter for 10 years, I finally have been called up, summoned if you will, to partake in my civic responsibility of jury duty. I am so excited! I know most people when they see that red-inked envelope sitting in their mailbox begin ticking through each and every possible excuse of why they couldn't be put on a jury, but not me. I marked the day on my calendar, happily asked off work, and began wondering just what kind of trial I might be placed on. Somehow I like having the responsibility of someone's fate in my hands. Now there's no need to panic, I would rather see ten guilty individuals roaming the streets than one innocent behind bars. I think I'm going to begin watching my favorite courtroom movies in preparation. I have also created a list of phrases that I just hope I get to shout out from the jury stand.

1. GUILTY!!!!!!
2. You can't handle the truth!
3. Try it again, that glove SO FITS!
4. I'm out of order? You're out of order!
5. Bailiff, take him away!!

Irony

2008-08-01T12:31:00.003-04:00

One of my faculty walks around the corner to hand me a piece of paper, to which I respond with a chuckle, "You so had better not be bringing me any work. It's friday, the boss is out today, and I plan on enjoying this day as much as possible. I don't intend to do much work".

Here comes the irony: The elevator by my office is broken. It's only 12:30 and already I've had to take the stairs 3 times. I am not amused.

Oh, I'll so sign for that!

2008-07-28T15:06:00.004-04:00

Dear UPS Delivery Guy,
I don't think you realize just how much your sweet words and smile really can make someone's day nicer. I'm sure somedays you wonder what's the point to being nice, the person just has to sign for the box and you're on your way to 5 o'clock freedom. And yet, you say hi and ask me how I'm doing in a truly genuine manner. You laughed when I kidded around with you. Your smile reached your eyes. I can't tell you how much that makes my heart a little lighter! So here's to you, UPS Delivery Guy, I'll sign for your boxes any day of the week ;)
Sincerely,
Office Girl

The best is yet to come....

2008-07-25T12:37:00.002-04:00

"I smile when I think about
The way You've turned my life around
I smile when I think about
The happiness in You I've found
I'm so amazed at what Your love has done
And when I think the best is yet to come
I smile!" - Russ Lee, "Smile"

It is a beautiful thing to realize that while the Lord provides us with His grace and undeserved forgiveness here on earth, the best is still yet to come. I often get stuck looking to make this life better or more wonderful, as if these few years I have here are all I will get. Through God's grace, however, this world is merely something we endure in order to experience the blessings and goodness that He has waiting for us. The realness of eternity with God are what He intended from the beginning, and will provide us with in His perfect timing. As the song says, when I think about how the best is yet to come, I can't help but smile!

It's official...

2008-07-23T10:59:00.004-04:00

I'm registered. That's right, registered for classes this Fall. Soon I'll be able to view my required reading lists, and hopefully be able to log into the library website and print off any articles that have been placed on reserve. I'm a student again! I'll be able to walk the halls of academia (ok the cyber-halls), join others in the conversation about the upcoming digital era for librarianship, remark on the days gone by when people complained about how awful card catalogs were. They wondered then what would happened to the profession, yet it lives on. Books will forever be the epicenter of civilization, mattering little what form they take. After a few years of study, I'll be able to join the living, breathing, working body of the library system as it inhales and exhales which each passing season.

If anyone wishes to say I'm romanticizing this thing called education, save it! Sure there's lots of long nights, starbucks coffee and endless hours in the library ahead of me, but I also get to join the club of too-tired, over-worked and burned-out students around the globe. There's no place I'd rather be.

new concern

2008-07-19T20:20:00.003-04:00

I broke a mirror today; that's seven years of bad luck. Maybe now I could walk under a ladder, have black cats cross my path or spill some salt. I'm even considering opening an umbrella inside the house on friday the 13th.

Things I'm tired of....

2008-07-17T11:44:00.003-04:00

1. Blogging, Emailing, Texting (Don't take it personally!)
2. Showering every day.
3. Shaving my legs, and toe if necessary ;)
4. The alarm ring that plays on my cell phone at 5:30am.
5. The radio I have at work that doesn't pick up any good stations.
6. That there are no coffee cups I REALLY love at home. (The one I love is at work, but can you really LOVE anything you have at work?)
7. Social interaction. You heard me, I'm tired of it. (I have a plan, though, refer to point two)
8. That I don't get foo-foo coffee whenever I want it (That's right parentals, you're bringing me down)
9. The shower curtain I have in my bathroom. (I wonder if there are some with words on them so I can read while doing my business. I probably shouldn't blog about my business.)
10. Crying. (Don't get your panties in a wad, It's not like I'm throwing myself on the floor or nothing.)
11. Worrying about money. Life is too short, yet what if it's not?! You need money.
12. Making "To Do" lists. New rule: No list- Nothing "To Do".
13. The warm weather. I'm ready for Christmas, yup the whole deck the halls, mistletoe, apple cider shebang. I'm ready for fake trees and red ribbons and sugar cookies. Please don't remind me it's just July (refer to point 10).
14. Scooping liter. I love you cats, just not what you make ;)
15. Being responsible. I'm tired of the fact that I still blog, email, text, shower ever day, shave my legs, set my alarm, drink coffee out of ugly cups, socially interact, acquiesce for peace, stick with the old shower curtain, express emotions, remain fiscally smart, do what's on my "to do" list, refrain from putting out holly and fern 6 months early and scoop liter when I really don't want to!! Being responsible is for the birds.

Time stands still...

2008-07-12T21:15:00.002-04:00

At the little house in the woods, time stands still. To date, I have no reason to bemoan this simple treasure. For the minute the car wheels pull off the beaten path and start driving down that creepy wooded driveway, all civilization is left behind and the pure enjoyment of laughing with friends ensues. Granted, I'm not always a fan of the rustic, the makeshift toilet paper, questionably dead spiders, sleeping on a couch, bringing my own towel, a bathroom where I can wash my hands while "going" because everything is so conveniently close or moldy refrigerators. Yet these small sacrifices are nothing compared to the simple fun that is had when the cares and burdens of life are left where the pavement ends. I haven't laughed so much in such a long time, and it seems now more than ever I appreciate the therapeutic benefit of laughing over the silly, the sarcastic or the utterly disgusting! The girls I hang with are the responsible types, the ones you hope always surround you in life. It's a treat to know others are thinking about how we're going to set up the movie, make the coffee or pack the car. It's a good feeling to know I'm not the only one planning the best escape route if suddenly it were necessary to make it to the prius in 1.7 seconds flat. I think great adventures will continue to be enjoyed at this little house in the woods. I smile every time I think of it, and it's the simplest times of sitting around knitting or making goofy madlibs that make it so refreshing. I have to give some sweet kudos to Nini for providing her family with such a retreat from the world, truly a safe haven from this sometimes overwhelming business of life.

Random thoughts...

2008-07-06T10:30:00.003-04:00

Forgive me for always making lists, but I find that sometimes I have these interesting thoughts that wouldn't make up an entire blog, but do produce an interesting bit of thoughts to ponder. Here goes....

1. While I enjoy the thought of perhaps being married someday, much like any girl, I absolutely 100% refuse to give up girly sheets on my bed. I currently bought some super cute sheets with pink roses. I will not give in to masculine colors or ugly geometric shapes or really anything I distaste. Submission only goes so far.
2. Speaking of men, I like muscles. I realize this is superficial to the core. Please don't try to sway me into thinking looks isn't everything ;)
3. Sweet conversation is always so uplifting. I enjoy it completely. It really matters little who the conversation is with, someone new or a friendship that has withstood the test of time. Somehow the exchange of thoughts and pleasantries can really uplift the soul.
4. Oh, here's a good one. Moose tracks ice cream....completely Divine!!
5. I've been thinking recently about the over-taking that people and civilization have done to this world. After watching a discovery channel or history channel (or well one of those educational ones) show on what would happen if people were no longer and the earth once again overtakes the planet with its presence. It's sad when we think of the negative influence we have had on this beautiful planet. Of course there is also good that has come from people (refer back to #3) so it's a toss up which is better. Always something to ponder though.
6. I dislike that this is not an even number for my list (which usually means divisible by 5), but I must add. I think cat treats and their controlling nature for making me cats come and go when I want them to is positively magnificent. Thank you Whiskers!

Reasons why I'm really 80 years old

2008-07-01T14:20:00.005-04:00

1. I'm tired, lately even when I wake up.
2. I think knitting has made my arm muscles sore.
3. I knit, nuff said.
4. I'm planning on going to bed before 10pm tonight.
5. I have crow's feet and age spots.
6. I talk about the latest medical breakthroughs with friends.
7. I contemplate pre-emptive medicine and procedures.
8. I love pearls and crazy, ugly lapel pins.
9. I sometimes feel I've already lived a full life.
10. I talk about "the youth" like they're decades younger than me.
11. I'm a bit of a prude.
12. I just want to wear my hair in a bun, not worry about fashion.
13. I like playing cards, your Grandma's card games like canasta.
14. I want to be a librarian and wear cardigan sweater sets.
15. I hope to meet a nice man that can still walk and has most of his teeth.

That's a wrap!

2008-06-25T12:00:00.003-04:00

So let me just say, I've been spending a little time at work this morning reviewing how to tie a head scarf. Mom need not fear, she's in good hands! I can now make her look like an African queen. I have to be honest, there really is such elegance and art to how these head scarves (called gele) are tied, folded and molded to the head to make such beautiful creations.

I don't want to brag, but I was able to view the Advanced Gele Tying Course on youtube and so now can make an even more amazing creation. Just wait Mom, you give me 3 yards of material, 25 minutes of working and wrapping, and I'll be able to have you looking like this! Do you think you'll be able to get into the car?? Although really, with such royalty flowing through your veins, perhaps we can have James pick us up some groceries ;)

My preferred lifestyle

2008-06-22T13:39:00.003-04:00

With life continually dishing me out a healthy dose of reality, I'd like to pause for a moment to consider a typical day in my preferred lifestyle. I would rise with the sun just beginning to beam its rays into my bedroom of my adorably simple and cozy old Florida style cottage. My feet would swing out from under the covers and touch the coolness of my terraza floor. I would greet my kitties as I walk out to the kitchen to brew some coffee, which must be leisurely enjoyed while catching up on current events that I read from the newspaper that is thrown onto my front porch every morning.
With the morning in full swing, I would change into my swim clothes, jump in my 1957 Chevy convertible and drive to the springs to enjoy the early morning ritual of old Florida natives taking an invigorating swim in the rich coolness of 72 degree water. It's so peaceful to enjoy nature in the early morning hours. Of course with these early waking hours, I could have all of this done by 9am. The question is what to do with the rest of my day. I'm pretty sure I would need to tend to my flower beds, water my indoor plants, put some fresh food and water out for my kitties, perhaps take a nap on the sun room after finishing my latest great read purchased from the second hand bookstore in town.
The afternoon hours would be spent with some light cleaning, relaxing cooking and perhaps creating a painting or two to hang on the wall. I'm not a very good painter, but I remember seeing a flyer from the local art studio where they were offering some beginning courses for the benefit of the community. I might have some close friends over for some dinner and we can discuss the happenings of town and lives of our families and friends, perhaps while playing our favorite card game and sipping our gin and tonics. Yup, just give me 40 more years and a room at the Sunny Ridge retirement village and I'll be basking in the greatness of my preferred lifestyle.

My thoughts, in random order

2008-06-18T11:46:00.003-04:00

1. I dislike hospitals. I started to hurt just sitting in the waiting room. No matter what bed was being wheeled by, I knew I had what they had, by transference. It's totally possible.
2. I like knowing I can call people at whatever hour of night and demand they pick me up and let me hang with them, even if they force me to get a cart and push it around for them, thanks chica ;)
3. Life feels better when the house is clean. Perhaps cleanliness really is next to godliness.
4. Work seems a million miles away. Thank you Lord for a job where I can simply say I'm taking days off and it not be a big deal!
5. Coffee is not only soul-satisfying but after watching about 50 rotations of the same 15 minute news segment yesterday on channel 13, they assured me it is heart-healthy.
6. French fries are sounding quite possibly the most delicious thing imaginable right now.
7. I aggressively knit when trying to wait patiently. I think the cute little blanket I'm working on might have about 20-30 rows that are a LOT tighter than the rest of it.
8. Daytime television really IS as wonderful as I always think it is when I'm sitting at my desk whittling away the prime of my life for payday.
9. Today is one of those days where life has brought me and those I love most in this world a lot of pain, but still I say, blessed be the name of the Lord.
10. I have a great family, that's my wonderful mom, dad, sister, brother, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, all of them. What sweetness!

Banquet frozen dinners? I don't think so

2008-06-16T11:53:00.006-04:00

This last weekend, my parents and I went shopping at The Fresh Market. It was while I was slowly strolling up and down each aisle, taking in the excitement of such variety, that I realized this simple truth. I am not meant for Walmart Neighborhood Market. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound like a snob! I was raised on the art of bargain shopping from the Piggly Wiggly to Winn Dixie. I know how to cut costs and buy generic. The problem is, I just don't want to. I prefer buying over-priced wasabi rice snacks and fruit/nut trail mixes that come packaged for me in little containers. I like how it feels to purchase fancy fruit juice, specialty potato crisps and whole wheat crackers with flax seed. I delight in the entire shopping experience, from the ingenious carts to the chicken salad made from rotisserie chickens done on the premises. So yea, as everyone else is shopping in bulk at their local wholesale club, trying to purchase a gallon of olive oil for $2.00, I'll be selecting the finest olive oil, hand-pressed in Italy by Grandma Ritoli for $15.99 and loving it!